my innermost sanctum

2006

that dragon could be welsh. but all the same, happy fabtastic new year, folks!

i'm not one to make new year resolution's, but i'll make an exception for this year [erm, it's 02:29 hours 1 jan 2006 over ere as we speak]. finger's, toes and eyebrows crossed for a bountiful and prosperous new year.

that sounds mightily like a chinese new year greeting :: ack! :: and it's happenin at the end of the month - can't wait for the year of the woof to come round. the rooster has been rather horrid actually.

to moi, that is.

:: double ack! ::

should auld acquaintance..

for the life of me,

i just couldn't remember the word's to said tune. in spite of having sung it during the weekly assembly whilst in primary school. for a [pseudo] scot, i ought to be mighty ashamed of meself:

ah, that may explain why it was a must-sing. i read off somewhere the other day that as the scottish community happened to be the largest, subsequently after the wee islet's founding; they contributed a huge sum of dosh to the building of the "oldest" [as in 19th century] anglican church ere. thus it was then called St Andrew's.

reet. the patron saint of scotland lent his name to a church of england. both side's will never allow such to take place back in the UK, innit.

oh btw, i just found the word's. in order to move yer mate's to tears for best effect, ye have to warble it in yer finest heeland [highland] brogue.

aye.

hur, hur

nothin is more delightful than readin witty queries made by fellow, erm science "intellectual's":

new to his job perhaps? no, there's somethin about mary. aye.

regardless, that reminds me to visit new scientist, then.

1 "bold" step forward, x fuckin wimpy steps back

i know, a right gobful that.

and i thought i am the only one who holds the view that bird's these days are a bunch of hypocritical defective banshee's - especially those of the wee island variety.

banshee's 'cos they'd inevitably wail at some perceived "slight". or insult hurled at by blokes. of course.

and may i add, education and even the right to equal job and pay opportunities are mightily wasted on said defective banshee's. when i first started workin in october 1986, it wasn't an uncommon practice to see job advert's displayin two different salary scales - those who served national service [read: male] and those who ain't [read: bird's] or who were exempted from conscription.

only for some female "activists" to grumble at such grave injustice during the early year's of the last decade. that parliament decided to make it an offence for companies to carry on the practice. where had they been all this while? said parliament?

what's more astonishin is in spite of all the equality, em so-called young tertiary-educated wee island bint's [especially so the lowest common denominator riff-raff - or chavette's in short] spout bollocks about findin wealthy husband's to upkeep em. besides installin said bint's in palatial homes with private swimmin pool's, round-the-clock security and suchlike. 'cos it's their *duty* to do so. as a husband.

thus the objective of landing a "rich" white expat - usually an ex-chav from the council estate back home. what's more amazin is that these sod's are willing enough to let emselves become a trophy husband. but then again, like attract like, innit?

in short, i really feel sorry for those fine women of yore who struggled and stood up for what they believed in - especially the right for bird's to work. and vote.

and a word to today's twattin cunt's - boo. hiss.

a paltry sum

this piece of news serves to show why

the footballer in question - as pictured - is no longer my footy hero. nor do other sports "personalities" deserve to be put on the pedestal either.

how come? see emphasis:

so, why the fuck do they want to become public figures in the first place? that's the problem with lowlife's - once they amass an obscene amount of dosh within a short period of time, they think they are *way* above the like's of you and me.

btw, i'm sure a £30 fine is too paltry a sum for these "millionaires". nor to any other mere mortal in fact. if they can afford to spend x amount of dosh to replace the car windscreens and windows, what is 30 quid anyway?

it's a mockery of the system, innit?

how fitting

chance upon these e-cards that seem to fit moi perfectly.

did i not mention once humility is not my greatest point?

* soz if you's can't view the cards - the creators have made em un-nickable.

some stuff

what i did for crimbo..

here they are. actually made em about a couple of week's ago. i've had always been inspired by crimbo since a nipper - and there was one period when i played crimbo tune's on the electone organ. yet i dread chinese new year and will gladly do just anythin to avoid it.

all the same, nice aren't they? but of course i'd say so since i made em meself.

see? humility is not my strongest point.

really?

it's trivial tripe like this that ensures the entire wee islet is whipped into a frenzy - the latest being wee island schoolbairn winning some gold medal's at some chess compo.

note emphasis though:

no matter, i'm utterly sure the sentence "[player's] of peopre's lepubrik and the subcontinent origin" is conveniently omitted from the press report.

for how long?

more disturbin revelation's from north korea - serves to show em commies are increasingly afraid of losing their grip.

sample the followin tosh taken from an indoctrination lecture:

i must say that there is certainly a grain of truth as evidenced by wee islanders' perception of the blue marble at large. just imagine how sick i get whenever i come across their wee-minded perceptions of westerner's at large.

the most commonplace being *all* white expat bloke's workin ere live in palatial palaces back home.

so now you's know why i take pleasure in windin em up? especially em lowest common denominator? of female persuasion?

tis the season

to be jolly. happy crimbo folks!

oh and it's boxing day tomorrow - which technically isn't a hol over ere on the wee islet. 'cos crimbo falls on the sunday this year so the next day is a public holiday.

i know, i want that model moggy also they are ever so miserly with regards to gazetted holidays. what do asian's know about, erm, rights anyway?!

Jack & who?

readin this article earlier reminds me of my acquaintance with a pair of couple's - at separate occasions - named Jack and Jill.

no, i kid you not. anyhoo my stock response after the usual rounds of intro's: "right, so you did break your crown eh, Jack? my belated sympathies."

incidentally, both pair's happened to be middle-aged. and both happened to be american. how wee the blue marble is, eh.

that'll learn em?

would any of you's out there feel sorry for cheapo severely under-dressed slag's who may suffer "urban hypothermia'' or even death - a consequence of their
1. overconsumption of alcohol that goes hand in hand with
2. overexposure to extreme cold weather?

i know i won't 'cos that will mean lesser idiot's for me to deal with.

:: yay! ::

the imminent death

of a culture and related languages that define it - the collective ethnic finno-ugric minorities in central russia may go the way of the dodo.

so the finn's and estonians take it upon themselves to reverse the decline - by brainwashing their kinsfolk about russkie chauvinism. besides other schemes like sponsorin their education and stay in estonia.

but of course the russkies ain't exactly chuffed with the interference. what does one expect from a bunch of thievin robber's who are desperately hangin on to whatever's left of their "glorious" past?

warblin along

i just can't get enough of this lurvely tune. go download it for a listen.

so quirky. so *cute*.

and i thought they are brits to begin with - given their equally quirky name. and only until i heard them the xth time round on the yahoo messenger thingy that i realised they are yank.

charming.

all i want for crimbo..

is this colour for my barnet:

yummylicious. innit?

can't decide if i should have some obvious pink or blue highlights to go along with.

a sad day

for humankind. no, in fact these amoebae are not even fit to be called human.

sample the following "reason" given by a sorry excuse of a homo sapien - for tossing their pet's out:

makes one wonder if there is a god.

all-time fave

i'm terribly chuffed to see enid blyton's the famous five voted as adults' favouritest reads for bairn.

really till this very day, any bloke named "Timothy" never fails to raise a giggle. to me at least.

:: 'ere boy ::

miss manners

i have had always believed in good old-fashioned manners

and observin proper etiquette. so the result doesn't come as a surprise. really:

could be my upbringing as peranakan matriarch's of yore never hesitate to tick off anyone behavin boorishly as "ill-bred peasant". yep, right in yer mug. that's why we were labelled as unbearably snooty git's by some lowest of the lowly [read: massively noisy chompers - ie: chomp with their gob's wide open with canines showing - amongst others] ethnic chink's.

but then it doesn't hurt nor cost a penny to be pleasant towards yer fella being's, innit?

ps: ok i didn't get the full score 'cos i thought it appropriate to bring along a bottle of whiskey to a dinner invite. substitutin it for guinness, that's why.

from the horse's gob

what my aussie work partner

has got to say about the madness in sydney. i emailed to ask after her after having read about the disturbance, so here it is - reproduced without permission.

----------------------------------------------------------------
Re race riots
Basically more to do with being thick more than race. the direct confrontation was between Lebanese 20s plus and the beach type 20s plus in one specific area of Sydney which is quite xenophobic.

I have been hassled and received racist remarks from both groups over time. The problem is basically identity- with migrant Middle East young men growing up in Australia and in conflict with Australian values. with little or no respect for women- their own girls walking around in sheets, they come to the beach ( need to go somewhere ) Australian girls won't go out with them- they see the non-Muslim world living a very different life - free and easy- so they translate that as immoral.

I have been held up by a gang of Middle east guys while I was trying to go to tutor Korean kids next door - at about 6pm in the evening. this time the Lebanese guys were at a crowded beach - playing soccer. The Beach Lifesavers advised them not to play soccer on the beach ( plenty of space here - so they can play in the playing fields.)

Life savers here play an integral part in society- they are volunteers who risk their lives to save others. Well the Lebanese guys responded by bashing up the Lifesavers. This is their normal reaction. Well the thickest part of the Oz group responded and it escalated. but the major damage to property - like smashing windscreens of inhabitants cars in whole streets came from the Lebanese group.

They are frequently violent- have a terrible record of rapes and bashing etc, and are alienated from other migrant groups because of their lack of respect for women and propensity to violence. Well, we have over 200 languages here and we don't want any of this so everyone from every group is sitting squash on the trouble makers, in a very Australian way.

There is ultimately a lot of intermarriage across all groups here, and these marriages usually work, so that is our future. Any way I don't think the wee islet will be bothered by too many Australians in the future, so you don't have to put up with the negatives.

Its a pity that we often notice the "ÿuk"factor in other cultures.

------------------------------------------
exactly matey. we often notice the yuck factor in folk who appear differently from us. and behave strangely to us.

and i've always believed it's mighty galling for the wee islet and its natives to loudly declare - no, boast more like it - emsleves as multi-racial [ie: chink, malay, indian and other's - whatever that means].

multi-racial, my derierre.

a more accurate representation

i do have a quite massive pair of blinker's.

and it's not because they are magnified by the glasses. yep i just lurve pairing skirts with boots. and yes my preferred work bag is a massive rucksack.

and yes my barnet has a mind of its own lately. scary innit. btw, that's a moggy over there - blame it on yahoo for the poor drawing.

i know, i am just so fuckin cute lookin just have got too much time on me paw's.

more or less

an ok kinda tune . yep, curiosity got the better of me that i just had to give it a listen.

and the official site doesn't allow me to download it. grr... not a particularly fabtastic tune, though quite heart-tuggin enough to make one shed a tear or three.

sniff.

oh and em lad's are so droolworthy both the cd cover and said site are so charmingly quirky that i chuckled for a good five minutes.

pure common sense

it's very disturbing to read news

of female youngling's gotten raped after a night out with mates. i know i have had blahed before about my not empathising with some of em victim's.

but still, i find it disturbin. honest.

surely it is common sense to not walk through quiet unlit/poorly lit areas alone? regardless the time? until this day and age, i never find it safe to walk home in the wee hours - even though the usual route is well lit, and my block of flats is situated just next to the road junction.

also, i make a point to take the taxi home after a night out - even if i return home just before eight or nine. and it's not because taxi fares here are cheap that i can afford to do so - i never compromise my safety.

anyways, i had left a comment on the site - which i felt i just have to - whereby i suggested that youngling's make arrangements with their da's, bros or any male relative or trusted neighbour to walk em home after a night out.

i know some amoebic feckless type's would counter argue with their "equal rights" bollock's and summat. but if em scum have the sense to engage brain's before wotsits, the blue marble would be a mighty safe place for one and all.

the sad reality is it isn't.

and at least the poor but brave lass is ok.

gah!

nothin gets my goat more than utter tosh by so-called cultural *experts* who happen to:
1. live on the other side of the blue marble, and very likely
2. not visited the wee islet whatsoever

and nothing is as cringeworthy as makin the wee islet out as some ultra-conservative place that rivals the middle east. except wee island bird's don't gallivant about town all wrapped up in blanket's.

oh and said bird's are dressed a little more formally than the rest? sure, if their barnet are appallingly done bedroom/bathroom stylee, and their mini-skirted suit paired with a sorry excuse of slipper-like "shoes" are considered as *formal*.

oh, and to speak in low modest tones?? how come i suffered tinnitus then?

:: touch wood ::

today's toons

in the spirit of crimbo..

no mystery then

perhaps this may explain why

agatha christie is one of my all-time favouritest writers [erm the only other fave is enid blyton], see emphasis:

and i recall the first ever book by agatha christie that i laid my paws on - the murder of roger ackroyd. i was searchin in vain for a book to borrow [i just had to read something back then] whilst at the school library that i chanced upon said title.

i tried to read other crime author's works as well but their verbosity was too much for my liking. and not because it was too heavy for a 13-year-old. no, i was too impatient to go through all the details leadin up to the discovery of the mutiliated/dead body.

besides, it took me about less than a day on average to finish off an agatha christie mystery. mostly those that featured hercule poirot and miss marple.

which reminds me, it may be a good idea to start collecting those works that had given me so much pleasure.

lost in translation, not

a handy glossary for travelling fan's to germany come june next year.

one german expression i found on the list that is closest to english - both spelling and pronunciation - is "Der Ball ist rund" meaning the ball is round.

oh and how about this priceless gem:

it'll be forty years since...

exploitation

the spotlight's on "exploited" HK domestic helper's from the philippines and indonesia once again.

since the report has included the wee isle for a mention on maid abuses, i can't deny that a number of married young wee island cow's relegate their childcare duties to their helper's - even to the extent of feedin em bairn in public. whilst said cow's noisily chomp on their chow.

or even "ordering" the maid to calm the brawlin brat in public whilst they look away nonchalantly. and then later whingeing to all and sundry that both helper's and bairn forge a closer emotional bond.

the irony.

yet i see more instances of these helper's who prey on white fella's mainly - regardless if they are attached or married with families. or their own employer's whom they'd seduce without any qualms. of course, it takes two to tango when those spastics themselves are so taken in by the attention heaped upon em by these "exotic" [huh?!] wotsits.

no, their pitiful heart-tuggin "so many gob's to feed back home, and my sickly parents" yarn, more like it.

these bint's freely admit it's their wallet's they are after, not long-term affection. ie: someone to assume monetary responsibility to their extended families back home in the philippines or indonesia. and in the typical filipina's case, they'd throw in their good-for-nothin lazy bum of a husband [fritterin away all their hard-earned dosh] for good measure.

oh and i haven't even started about their part-time whoring whenever the US sailor's are in town. most of whom are young enough to be their bairn.

pass the pukebag. someone. please.

really, i don't give a flyin fuck about their "plight" after all the blatant *idiocy and hypocrisy that i've had witnessed.

*some were already told countless of times not to climb onto window ledges to clean the flat window's but they still persist. so are the employer's to be blamed if the helper's emselves fell to their deaths?

sacrilegious

nothin seems to be sacred these day's.

although manyooo are my club, i do not think it appropriate for anyone - regardless lifelong fan or otherwise - to dramatise a tragedy that should be left as it is. and what do they *exactly* mean it's "understandable" that Bobby Charlton refused to be involved with the film?

for bbc to defend their project as a story for younger viewer's is both lame and pure bollocks. if they are manyooo fans [as opposed to fairweather, read: the far east] who are genuinely interested to know who the busby babes were; and/or about their untimely passing's, these "younger" viewer's can always go find out themselves.

why should the bereaved suffer again?

how welcoming

why certain human being's - especially youngling's - ought to be forcibly removed from the gene pool:

both are teenager's. and both were under the influence of alcohol. or so it was claimed.

if anyone [wee islander's for instance] were to argue that these spastic's ought to be forgiven just because they were pissed drunk and/or due to their age; i'd suggest that this same anyone go remove themselves from the gene pool also.

today's toons - late edition

finally!

simmering tensions

i know i'm a tad late to offer my two penneth's worth but all the same. the racial riot's that struck sydney over the last weekend serves to reinforce the impression:
1. that certain immigrant group's think they have the right to impose their cultural values and practices on their host's - but why are entire villages from whence they came allowed to congregate in certain neighbourhood's?

oh, and look at their breeding pattern's.

2. the rest of asia have on the native's themselves, most if not all - 'nuff said

but for em certain white australian's wanting to keep their country purely aryan - soz, *anglo-celtic* - is a right joke. selective memory they certainly do have pertainin to their country's history.

however, for any bystander to declare outright that they ain't racist or xenophobic whatsoever, the word hypocrite writs large.

aren't we all in varyin degrees?

apols

for the silence folks. no real excuses, just a crimbo lunch earlier in the week and a customer's crimbo office do last evening.

thank goodness i needn't nurse a hangover today. anyways, keep yer eyes peeled. i may come up with somethin brilliant.

as per the usual.

meme

stolen off sparx's. normal transmission will resume shortly.

1. My uncle once: tried his hand in fighter pilot training - it all went well until he got off some simulator and then puked all over the shop.

2. Never in my life: have I grown me barnet long - never fancy it at all as it screams "minging twattin bint". as in the asian context.

3. When I was five: i walloped a lad who was a neighbour - can't recall what it was all about but i still remember he's blond and blue-eyed. probably aussie - see walloped.

4. High School is: when PE was the only period i looked forward to. oh and the weekly 45-minutes music/warblin [tune's like this mostly] session's during the first two year's.

and spent alot of time at the library also. ever looking forward to saturday morning's so that i could wear my police cadet uniform. oh and writin poem's also. just anythin other than payin attention in class.

5. My parents are: folk you can't choose.

6. I once met: Kevin Keegle, Terry McDermott and Ian Rush - not at the same time and the latter is me bro's hero. and i'm a manyoooo fan. the utter irony this must be a sign joke.

7. There's this girl I knew who: i didn't realise was a whore as we got on really well. with her askin after me mum when i told her about her gall bladder surgery. and then whenever she saw me at the local, she'd never fail to come up to me to say 'hi'.

the funny bit was i told her exactly where to go - in indonesian which i was just guessin she was - the first time when she tried to make goo-goo eyes at some bloke i erm chatted with. i hardly see her around lately though, i hope she's ok.

8. Once, at a bar: i politely told some wanker to sod off or i'd smash my bottle of corona on his bonce.

9. Last night: i was sat watchin my grey cells vegetate.

10. Next time I go to church: i'll promise the one above i'll stop winding people up.

11. When I turn my head left, I see: my work desk.

12. When I turn my head right, I see: my bookshelf. that's about to give way.

13. How many days until my birthday?: exactly 8 months and 31 days away.

14. If I was a character written by Shakespeare I'd be: the court jester - surely the most non-complicated non-tragic *character*. who has a starring role in most shakespeare's plays. woohoo.

15. By this time next year: hopefully make a return trip to the UK.

16. A better name for me would be: not applicable, this. i like the letter b as it is.

17. I have a hard time understanding: why amoebae, scum, trailer park trash, chav's, homo mong's et al are allowed to exist. of all creature's.

18. If I ever go back to school I: blow up the science lab.

19. You know I like you if: i tell you my life story.

20. If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: all my loved one's.

21. Take my advice: 'cos i can read the future.

22. My ideal breakfast is: banger's and mash.

23. If you visit my hometown: i'll take ye to the local for a pint or three.

24. Why won't someone: stop breeding? except a select few of course.

25. If you spend the night at my house: you'll have to sleep on the settee 'cos there's no spare room in the flat.

26. I'd stop my wedding: if it's really the end of the blue marble.

27. The world could do without: human being's.

28. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: date a wee island or asian male - they'd usually do three thing's: (1) ask daft question's as to why i like footy (2) hate it that i know footy more than they do (3) insult my intelligence by sayin that the real reason i watch footy is because of the player's.

twattin cunt's.

29. Paper clips are more useful than: a stapler. not.

30. If I do anything well, it is: scoring some decent goal's if i have a chance to play footy again. no, score penalties like cantona - that's more like it.

31. And by the way: i can't make my way round without me glasses. sad or wot.

today's toons

soz folks, no toons for today as the website where i nick em from has been wonky since early today.

so keep yer eyes peeled for the next instalment of today's toons.

next monday.

imposin one's values

nicked the followin bit off this discussion forum

which clearly shows the writer's perceptions of bird's in general:

well, may i ask why then do the collective Latin American cultures place so much emphasis on physical beauty, so much so that bird's resort to plastic surgery? such that they unfairly win each and every international beauty "contest" year-in year-out?

isn't it a male dictate to look "gorgeous" - to which i much disagree the latino definition of "gorgeousness" [sidetrack, this: thank goodness this year's miss wotsit's winner is non-latina. bless.]

the concepts of freedom and individuality are subjective. wearin skimpy bathin suits on the beach may mean nothin in that sad continent. it merely serves to prove the adage, "if you have it, flaunt it". oh yes, the wearer is oh-so-proud of her figure and looks that she's beggin to be drooled at.

cue: the obligatory fur-flyin and eye-dagger throwin

but to yours truly, she's an attention whore. and it begs the question: "is there a need to flaunt yer trunk?"

why perpetuate the need for feckless [with non-existent self-esteem to boot] bint's to compete with one another by turnin out skimpier than the rest?

why give tosser's like the above writer the pleasure to objectify bird's?

that's the whole idea why some muslim bird's feel more empowered by concealin their physical asset's.

of course, some may argue it's the male half of the population who insist on their womenfolk to do so. likewise, isn't the typical latin american tosser who dictate how their bird's should look like?

for selfish reason's

is the need to keep up with the joneses so great

that grandparent's feel the need to pressurise their bairn to reproduce?

the claim of continuin the family line [or what older ethnic chink's would utter "to carry on the surname" - that's why they favour male bairn's] is utterly *lame* as most would end up as surrogate parent's themselves. and then having to supervise the foreign domestic helper hired to keep house - as in the wee island context that is.

to be honest, are youngling's these days ready for parenthood? they may think they are, but the rise in numbers of unruly spoilt brat's shows otherwise. and then us the public are to put up with all the ill-behaviour, eh?

worse, these clueless parent's not only choose to pretend their sprog's are angels, but are gallin enough to think they are now more complete individual's just because they'd fulfilled their duty of procreation.

twattin cunt's.

moreoever, what with the planet dyin due to man's indiscriminate destruction, isn't it time for a break in human reproduction?

just imagine, lesser spastic's to deal with also.

consequences

this is a result of welcoming

foreign lowlife scum with open arms:

they have absolutely no idea of making a decent honest living. have they not?

and they didn't even make any attempt to conceal their identities. i can safely conclude that that is how they do it back home, with an equally corrupted police force in cahoots.

does deteriorating circumstances back home force these scum to turn to a life of criminality? with no absolute idea about the right's and wrong's?

i think not.

fear so massive

my fear of bein taken advantage of is so mighty great, that it totally blinds me from the hurt i caused to the other party.

so to prevent further unleashing's harm to the rest of humanity [eh, pardon?], it'd be best if i go find some mountainous cave to hide and spend the rest of my life.

you's think i'm jokin?

reeks of hypocrisy?

now that the hoo-ha has somewhat died down

i think it's about time that i say my piece about the "tribute" a gaggle of wotsit's are plannin to do for my late mate. said gaggle of wotsit's were folk she hooked up with to be part of the ultra *exclusive* circle of blog aggregator's. who are accorded near demi-god status by homo mong's, which coincidentally enough so did my mate.

just a few day's after her funeral, said gaggle broadcast to one and all that they are goin to publish all her blog entries that exist on the blogsphere for her family and "friends" to read.

shock. horror. gasp?

how nice. how thoughtful. how awwwww...worthy. and i wonder exactly who and what they actually meant by "friends". knowin my mate - or i thought i knew - she wouldn't want any of her family to discover her deepest secret's and fear's.

to think that just month's before her passin, she adopted a behaviour - or so said gaggle claimed - that to me, seemed rather quite bizarre. ie: sort of a turnaround from the secretive painfully private person whom i first befriend.

or i thought she was.

us both had spent weekends at the local quaffin, watchin the occasional footy and the odd wolf-whistlin oglin at cute fella's. and generally passin unsavoury comment's at amoebae within their earshot.

but before i allowed meself to be overtly upset over some perceived transgression, i realised that i don't know her well enough to said my piece nor give a teary [read: shameless and hypocritical] tribute. see secretive, painfully and private.

maybe it's because i'm a secretive and private person myself [yeah right] who'd rather grief privately for a mate. no, i chose to reminisce about the good time's - albeit privately - that helps me greatly to deal with it. and then get on with life.

of course to each its own; but to claim to know someone so well whose life is not an open book is like claimin to have seen apparition's of mother mary on some hill dotted with goat's.

when they ain't considered as her closest confidante's. whatsoever.

but then again, how well do i exactly know her?

waxed

so jose morinho has proven to us all mere mortal's that he wasn't merely boastin about himself being the *chosen* one.

:: gaggin sound ::

after all, the kind folk's at Madame Tussaud's had *chosen* him way above other footy manager's for their latest waxwork thingy.

i do wonder at times about their choice of model's lately.

so?

what if this icon has been dead for a quarter of a century?!

i admit i like their tune's alot many many many ::ad infinitum:: moon's ago. but for cryin out loud, he left walked out of his wifey and bairn for another bint. who's old enough to be his mum.

or summat.

regardless, a rather fine display of totally irrational human behaviour. makes one wonder if these same amoebae would grieve their own family with the same vigour as they do for a complete *stranger* of a tosser.

afraid not.

you know it's crimbo...

...when the local emails you the following:

nb: a rehashed blah, this with dates amended accordingly.

loo-ny tune's

nicked off sparx's - trust em jap's to come up with the weird and frivolous.

they made us all agoged with, amongst all creation's/inventions: hello kitty, the tomogotchi, robot pet's, sudoku, and wotever else. and now an mp3 toilet seat.

too much time on their paw's?

end of the blue marble

is nigh. as predicted by boffins in 2036. or 2029. or whichever's earlier.

is it odd that no self-servin minister from asia panics about the possible harm done to the entire human race - ie: total extinction? that is if the asteroid does collide with this wee planet?

if only it comes round sooner.

more snooping's

hmm, yet more snooper's by way of my late mate's website.

what's more appalling is, a link to the site describin the illness that she suffered was nicked right under my nose. and whomever the amoeba is thought it was smart enough to not include the url just in case. it was fuckin obvious though i shan't describe at length how the hell i knew.

may said amoeba's paws rot as we speak.

plucky

and level-headed to boot. the lass was determined to keep her bag that she fought off the mugger. who saw it fit to injure her just because she refused to give in.

cowardly bastard. anyways, i hope the brave lass recovers quickly enough.

new species

of a carnivorous mammal - apparently a cross between a cat and fox - is found traipsing across the jungle's of borneo.

hopefully, news of this discovery doesn't reach the peopre's lepubrik or it'd end up in the cookin pot. finger's, toes and eyebrow's crossed.

i tend to get delighted over news like this. any wonder why.

not again

here they go again:

(1) if the st george's reminds those pc tosser's of the BNP, they could do us all a favour by suggestin an alternative flag perhaps. the union jack then? oh yes but of course, the scot's, the welsh and the irish would whinge and moan about english imperialism and wotnot.

oh and the argument that the union jack does not exactly represent english sentiments or identity whatsoever. or reminds one of the past disgraces of the empire. make up yer minds, you twit's.

(2) it's perfectly ok for minorities to wear their religious symbol's. but the sight of a crucifix [on a christian who doesn't attend church regularly] is tantamount to a slight towards other religious practitioner's sensibilities.

sample the followin tosh uttered by the deputy head of the school:

i'm sorry, sir, but wee island sikh's have long shed their turban's, beard's and some, the kara. and it's really easy to identify those who are from india of course - complete with turban's, beard, and the dagger. so check yer fact's before you bleat.

and btw, may i remind you that england is a christian country after all. no wonder the archbishop of york was despairing the other day. who seems more english than some of you's.

shame on you lot.

annoyances

nothing annoys me as much as:

1. people who email me without salutation's whatsoever -

as demonstrated by this particularly massively "popular" [as evidenced by many "entrepreneurs" signin up] UK-founded business networkin forum. the founder - or so she claimed - emailed me on the weekend persuadin me to subscribe to the network [after another 14-day free trial period that they took upon themselves to reinstate me after my guest membership expired].

or i'd regret for not gettin chummy with like-minded individual's. what got my goat though is that there wasn't any "Dear Wotsyername". instead she began it with:
"i'm now writin to you on friday evenin 5.30 pm.... i'm the founder of this utter bollocks of a forum.... and also a mother of three kids.."

what is she tryin to convey here? oh and spare me the unnecessary details please. and you called that professional?

2. lofty expat cunt's "advisin" me to get my fact's on the wee islet or english grammar right

this time it's some swiss cunt with the prefix of Dr to her name [PhD = Permanent head Damage], who replied to my monthly mass mailing to prospects, claimin that my piece [which wasn't written the way as i do over ere of course] had several grammatical mistake's. this comin from someone who admitted that she didn't read my two previous missives which she wrote:
".. after receivin several of your snippet's, only this time i get to read it.. may i advise you that in the interest of your company's image, you get someone to edit your communication before you send it out".

how polite. so when i asked her to enlighten me the mistakes that i had made, she refused to do so - as expected of these cunt's - instead sayin that it'd take her a long time to list them down. and if she's so fuckin concerned about my company's image such that she bothered to respond, she could always quote an example innit?

i can safely conclude that she didn't expect me to tell her exactly where to go. given that she has been in asia for awhile; AND no thanks to the wee island government who makes it easy for any foreign tom, dick or harriet to start a business ere.

or that she has a too low an opinion of asian bird's. that she couldn't stand it that i - for instance - could be as "intelligent" as she is. i'm only guessin here given her professional background in management consulting [whatever that means] with some of the top MNC's. seriously, it is only a company with questionable or dodgy management that requires external consultancy.

well if these foreign type's are truly talented, they will make their fortunes in the states or europe. not asia. nor the wee islet.

and to think that she insulted native english speaker's by claimin that they are poor writer's. isn't these very same folk whose language she's earnin her keep from?

twattin cunt.

ethics

none it seems. i was a tad disconcerted when the headlines hollered about the first ever successful face transplant. apart from ethical issues, i find it appalling if some bint took on my face.

unless of course if they are unfortunate burnt victim's. but still.

and then it emerged that the bird herself was almost finished off by her own hand - only for her pet dog tryin to save her but instead biting her mug off. ::yay::

so the dog was destroyed instead? bloody hell.

and a huge leap forward for science? non, a fine example of man playing god.

succumbation

accompanied me mum yesterday to this 3-day health fair at the nearby exhibition complex, i succumbed to the "dark" side by buying this supplement. since it is ridiculously cheap helps improve cardiovascular health. amongst other blah's.

and then i picked this at another booth after we were told that a purchase comes with a freebie.

i had taken a fair bit of this on and off but stopped completely as i found it rather troublesome having to take note of the consumption cycle: at least 1 to 2 capsules for a week and then off for about 5 day's or summat. there are better or more important thing's to remember innit?

no, it's my cynicsm that got the better of me. as i believe some of these supplements are no different from placebo's.

hopefully i'll be more disciplined this time round as it had cost me twenty wee island quid.

today's toons

the future is red

and their head's gonna swell. so massive that they'd soon proclaim they are the one's who reinvented the wheel.

time to learn to speak like em with all the 'r' and 'l' in the wrong places. then.

growth in all the wrong places

when i first spied this headline, the first thing that cross me mind was: surely this same pesticide thingy adversely affects the development of brain cells as well?

given the wide availability of aerosol pesticides and extent of fogging's done in public on the wee islet; that may explain:
1. the ever-increasing boob size of those of chink ethnicity which more than coincided with
2. their increasingly lower than average intellectual - or none whatsoever - level

but of course, the above "theory" [ahem] has yet to be proven by science.

c'est la vie, wot

can life be too cruel or unfair

when folk like my late friend passed on at a terribly young age?

it could be due to observation's made over the moon's - or perhaps due to pure perpetual cynicism. or age. or all three - that i've had always believed:
1. one's life is/was pre-planned by the One above
2. what one did in one's previous existence had a direct and massive bearing on their present [like, why is one always picked on by a certain twattin amoeba for instance. i know, poor example but you's get the drift]

so once your time's up, you can't possibly exclaim, "wait, i'm not done with whatever/whomever yet!"

can you?

we ought to celebrate the deceased's life instead. and i reckon they didn't want us to be all gloomy, teary, regretful and hypocritical, flooding our tears everywhere wotnot. surely we do not wish our loved one's to be all gloomy, teary, regretful and hypocritical, flooding their tear's everywhere wotnot.

innit?

so quit the moaning's, loud wailing's [as they often do at trad chinese funeral's], crocodile tear's and wotnot. s'il vous plaît.

changed

a moggy which returned home after being involuntarily shipped to France is found to be on the plumper side. see emphasis:

right. i hope they didn't mean escargot. or foie gras. or frogs legs. or ....

oh, i'd better stopped.

whilst over in alba..

disconcertin new's. nuff said.

salt in the wound

ouch.

but ta all the same to the neighbour's up north. it's time like this when you know who yer mate's really are.

and to think that the oz-try-lian media and certain section's of the population called for a minute's silence immediately after the hanging. serves to reinforce the country's convict image.

which is a shame really as a mate emailed me two day's ago about the overwhelming support for the death sentence.

camel lurve

it was only a couple of day's ago that i blahed about camel's, erm, gettin it. and now this:

mighty disturbing, that.

a mighty waste of atom's

is it really shockin

that the first european female suicide bomber was actually an incorrigible fibber, a druggie and a waitress to boot?

i recall a former secondary schoolmate who was a class A chavette whose uniform top was always more than a button less; and skirt as way above the knee as possible; even flirtin openly with the opposite sex which was considered scandalous back then many many many :: ad infinitum :: moon's ago. especially so for a muslim.

not particularly bright may i add, as she had repeated her first or second year twice. or summat.

so to hear an ex-colleague recountin that she had become a member of a banned mid-80's islamic fundamentalist movement, all wrapped up in black burqa [hence nicknamed "zorro" - by muslim's emselves - and the goateed blokes wore black and turban's] was unnerving. what's more gobsmackin was she was the second or third or summat wife to the founder. or the wee islet's leader. or summat.

what stood out from this particular conversation all those moon's ago was said ex-colleague [who attended the same polytechnic as said "zorro" ex-schoolmate - see how wee the wee islet is] commented it's the feeblest-minded amoebae who'd undergo such drastic transformation's. like, from one end of the spectrum to the other.

i was in a perpetual state of shock for day's on end. such that i felt the need to broadcast this piece of "news" to the rest of my ex-classmate's [any wonder why i ended up workin with a sports broadcaster many moon's later?]. we all then clucked clucked on the shame she had brought upon the rest of us agreed that it was indeed a sad day for humankind.

makes one wonder why such element's were not removed at birth, at least spare us all the despair.

snooper's

there's a sudden surge of visit's to this site which coincided with the blah below.

snoopin busybody's. soz, welcome to this lurvely site?

r.i.p

my mate who passed away last evening, as a result of a rare blood disorder called thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura.

it was sudden news which i received early this mornin from her mate. and it was just over a fortnight ago that i phoned to ask about her whereabout's. to be told she wasn't in and on hols, i thought she had already left the wee islet for good, to be with her boyfriend in the UK.

well, i'm just all very confused now as we speak.

farewell matey, you'll be missed. i'll raise a pint in your memory.

visual's

what i did at lunch today.