my innermost sanctum

bleedin' obvious

i can't help it but i must wind some livin-thing up.

said living-thing [pseudonym and sex withheld] - who's an ex-reader of this blog - got fed up of my unkind remarks about a certain bunch of homo sapien's that it stopped comin altogether. but not before makin its feeling's known, and stoppin short of callin me a xenophobe.

now, said living-thing is in fact a half-breed, whose mum is an ethnic chink - as opposed to "pure" 100% undiluted chink. regardless, said livin-thing is damn fuckin proud [of course, there's nothin wrong with it] of its chinese heritage that its blog is full of post's about just anything chinky-related.

especially nosh at the chinatown. which doesn't come as a surprise as i can safely vouch the whole lot of em do eat non-stop. 24-7. and no, i'm not exaggeratin, mind.

that also explains why they eat anythin that moves innit. ouch.

so, the purpose of this blah? curiosity got me to said livin-thing's blog early today [being a public holiday over ere, still] and then i chanced upon the latest post: said livin-thing has no absolute idea whatsoever what the *year of the dog actually meant. nor explainin briefly why it - together with its family - ate *twice* at same chinatown the night before the new year. and on the new year itself.

right. comin from someone who's so fuckin proud of it's [semi] chinky heritage. again, there's certainly nothin wrong with it.

which really is typical. just ask any wee island chinese youngling the history behind the new year. and i can wager the reply would be a glazed stare. followed by, "what you mean history? anyway, we chinese have been around for 5,000 years what...".

yeah, sure. 5,000 yonk's and still eating with **chopsticks? not much of a progress since, is there?

* it's "predicted" that the year of the fire-dog would be utterly kind to those born in the year of the monkey - which i'm kinda lookin forward to. strange but true. i'm not sure about the rest though.

** reference an unkind remark i heard about malay's eating with their right hand - which to em is completely unhygenic and barbaric.

it's a sad day

when:
1. majority of palestinian's decided that a bunch of defective terrorist's are fit to take over control of their destiny
2. some ineffectual ethnic chink proclaimed it's perfectly ok to change yer nationality as often like changing job's - if your very identity and existence as a *race* are "threatened" by non-chink majority

it's no coincidence that both ethnic groups share exact same ideas - besides similar cultural practices, both races never treat their bird's decently whatsoever.

it came and went

there's 13 day's left

to the chink new year - which many wee island youngling's these days don't give a toss anymore.

it's the incongruity of certain traditional practices that led to the loss of meaning and value. like, the wearin of new clothes only on the new year - which everyone can do so throughout the year these day's.

that aside, it's sad really when:
1. newly-married or childless couples avoid the tradition of givin red packet's of dosh to assorted bairn and unmarried mates - by going on a holiday
2. newly-married or childless couples are made to feel utterly useless when noseyparkers [in the guise of in-laws and relative's twice-removed] point out so-and-so are expectin their xth spawn
3. single bird's are made to feel utterly useless when noseyparkers [in the guise of relative's twice-removed] point out so-and-so's daughter is getting married to some filthy-rich banker - with x number of car's
4. and if singles proclaim they are contented with their status quo, noseyparker's [in the guise of relative's twice-removed] immediately conclude they are either -
[a] closet gay's; or
[b] sick in the head

but thank goodness i'm not subjected to such bollocks within my immediate family. though it is a shame that it gets worse with each passin year as there seemed not much to talk about - or catching up - between relation's.

the utter irony is that my cousins' indonesian domestic helper was chuffed to see me - besides addressin me as "elder sis" [which is the norm for malay, peranakan and south indian birds to address one another as sibling's - traditionally]. probably there isn't anyone else at home whom she can converse with in her tongue. not that i'm exactly fluent in it, mind.

oh, and only if i could take home the stray cat - who's my grans' late-dog's best mate and lately adopted em - with me.

this week's toons

*because* it only floated into my inbox yesterday.

in a galaxy far far away..

pardon the totally unoriginal title, that. it's news like this that makes me really hopeful. imagine, a planet free of lowest common denominator amoebae - hurrah!

i don't mind the bitingly cold temperatures really. what i need to do is wrapped meself up with appropriate clobber fit for harsh winter-like weather, innit.

yeah, right. indeed.

btw, surely em boffin's could come up with a better name than OGLE?

sad innit?

i may not be their biggest fan, but news like this about ethnic indonesian chink's being denied citizenship still is heartwrenching. to say the least.

some blame it on the dutch for their discriminatory racial policy - which is mighty convenient, and an easy scapegoat. but it's clear to see that the malays are just wanting to rid em chink's off the country. there may be other factor's, but being jealous of the latter's wealth is one oft-quoted excuse. and the reality is most of em are too poor to escape to places like the wee islet.

well, to put it bluntly, if not for the wealthier chinks' economical clout and contribution, do em natives seriously think any foreign investor would give em a toss?

what vitriol

it may just be my being a shameless erm, monarchist; but the vitriol hurled by certain section's of the public towards Harry's impending call-up to Iraq doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

especially those made by reader's of the daily mail, which i can't seem to find the link today. well, what i had blahed - i just had to - on the comments section on the m.e.n is more than suffice. and i must say that the falklands war kinda earnt randy andy some respect - he even dumped that porn actress slag shortly after his return.

and the difference in quality of opinion between m.e.n's and daily mail's is that no feckless bird has yet to say their piece in the former. so far.

i must admit it's an oversight on my part that royalty are not put on the line of fire.

advance oztrylia fair

it's australia day today, and the smh has come up with a Dishonours List - a chortleworthy listing of famous aussies who behave utterly un-australian. which to said paper, is a mighty disgrace.

like how a certain australian actress declaring herself as british. and possessin a UK passport.

tut, tut?

the world cup diary

here's what i chanced upon whilst checkin the hotmail wotsit. a diary of sorts kept by none other than mickey owen. and some other football types also.

hmm, at least there's something to read during the three-day public hols this weekend. and i kept thinkin the chink new year falls on the saturday, when it is actually on the sunday.

well, DUH!

i hate it when holiday's are this long. not that i get less productive, instead i have to wait till the next workin day to get in touch with customers. especially when you have got project's to kick off. and this time round, i have to wait till wednesday to get any real work done.

grumble, mutter. whinge.

that's not very nice

and i thought i was being unkind for slaggin em filipina's off on this site.

sample the followin from a filipino nurse working in the UK - besides being part of a larger community making an utter nuisance of emselves - see emphasis:

sure, UK folk will definitely feel oh-so-sorry for the like's of you, Maria - only when and if you put on the "pity-me-i'm-a-fuckedup-victim-of-circumstance-whose-useless-drunkard-of-a-husband-spends-all-my-hard-earned-dosh-back-home-in-the-philippines" countenance. unless of course, if yer unlucky enough to chance upon those who have loyalties with the BNP.

but then, i reckon even the average white BNP twit couldn't resist the brown complexioned coconut-oil-for-the-barnet shortarse types. must be somethin about the coconut oil eh that charmed the socks off em fella's. no, it's the LONG straight barnet reaching the arse that does the trick.

oh and don't make me start about the ear-shatterin hyena-in-heat-like noise emitted by your compatriot's standin in the middle of the supermarket. so don't blame wee islander's for being a nasty cruel lot. they ain't being stingy either - 'cos your standard of livin is so fuckin low that you's could be living like a king in at least about 5 year's time. even from the so-called pittance you's earn ere as a domestic helper can get you a piece of arable land.

whereas wee islander's are virtual slaves of the state.

or is it because they are ethnic chink's mostly that you don't like em? given that the more successful/wealthy folk back home happened to be purely ethnic chink's?

tsk, tsk

this is rather disturbin. twice today a pair of totally deprived feckless lowest common denominators dropped by this fine site seeking: cunt picture's. these are their IP addy's:
1. from the netherlands - 71.245.247.50 ISP - verizon.net
2. from canada - 207.229.30.254 ISP - telus.com

hello there whomever you are, may i suggest you's go get yer heads checked. oh yes, i'm truly insulted that you's came ere for some cheap pleasure. in fact, gormless lowest common denominator scum like yer goodself shouldn't be allowed near to a computer. much less, access to the internet.

so, blame the search engine's for being dumb enough to even list this blog just because?

it's pretty fuckin obvious who is dumber. in fact, are you's aware that the process of castration came about for the likes of ye? are not even fit to belong to the human race.

kewl

look at that pair of shades.

now i'm thinking it's not a bad idea marketing sunglasses to wee island dog's - and moggies also - given their year-round exposure to pretty harsh sunlight.

that come complete with UV protection. oh, and anti-fog properties also.

hmm...

hypocrisy

at its finest. and how convenient it is to use western culture as a scapegoat to further promote asian or islamic values. what got their goat this time is the planned publication of this utter load of tosh.

methinks em self-appointed leaders ought to go clean up Jakarta first - where loads of supposedly *pious* young muslim cow's don't think twice sleepin with white men. besides the no-holds-barred clubbing scene which i heard is much much wilder than over ere.

talk of which, so is malaysia's kuala lumpur where many foreign investment's are based.

regardless, they - and all those other amoebae who reside on this half of the blue marble - have turned hypocrisy into an art form. of the highest order.

r.i.p

farewell, wee laddie. we can all take comfort that you came upon the thames. not the sea around japan - where the natives have no qualms turnin just anythin edible into sushi.

and here's a tribute that apparently answered my question: why did the whale swim up the thames.

question of the day

a new twist to the time-honoured chicken and road thingy - why did the whale swim up the Thames?

one of those great mysteries in life that will never get properly answered. innit.

it's the 70's wotsit

the early half of the 70's is a tad hazy

to me as i was still a wee nipper back then.

but it's a decade full of fab songwriter's [like, carole king, neil sedaka et al] as well as comedy warbler's. kitted out in equally comedy frightwig and garb - bay city roller's made me swear off tartan back then.

talk of comedy warbler's, some idiot's just have to remind us who are old enough of this bunch. the way the entire - well, almost - wee islet prostrate towards em when they came to these shores back then was cringeworthy. to say the least.

that aside, it'll take me awhile to list out who and what i like alot that define the decade, apart from music - like sesame street ["... brought to you today by the letter's ... B...."] and Hogan's heroes for instance.

oh and this tune blarin off the stereo that got me warblin along [ie: the IO bits] and me feet a-tappin - whilst at lunch earlier today. and before it, the lurvely olivia newton john [angelic voice, pity about her choice of tune's] way before she became an actress [pity about her choice of film's].

oh, i could go on..

dreadin it

chinese new year is but just a week

and two day's away. and i haven't even "springcleaned" [as is the practice] my room as yet.

a bit of an irony innit - moi "celebratin" the new year of a bunch of people i never fail to wind up at every opportunity. there are many reason's why i find it dreadful. their hijacking of and then claimin many peranakan delicacies as one of their very own is utterly hypocritical. not to mention, unethical.

this comin from the same bunch of human's - read: mainly the lowly chink-speakin peasant's - who until recently openly despised peranakan's as shameless half-breeds who can't speak chink. yet their very own shameless slag's never think twice about wearin our traditional malay-influenced costumes.

no, it's the trunk-enhancing cut of the translucent blouse, that's why. they still appear twattish regardless. and makin it look cheap.

cunts.

anyways, as long as i remain ere on the wee islet - and livin together with my family - i suppose i can't avoid this festival altogether.

perhaps renaming it hogmanay - and goin to the local for a pint of guinness on that day - may just help.

a gem

via guardian - a blog about a scottish laddie who's recovering from a recent op on acoustic neuroma.

so, go say hello to headcase eh.

boo. hoo.

the case whereby a bloke scissored his partner's barnet off - that had gotten the finest mind's debating if hair is 'live' or otherwise. time better spent dealing with other legal stuff innit.

and i thought hair grows regardless?

what a whiny spoilt defective cow. how about bird's who suffer from alopecia then?

well, i suppose she was at the end of her tether - pun NOT intended - when she first saw her chopped barnet. she could have spent alot of time on it - reference "the pride and joy" bit. more so than on the fella.

otherwise he wouldn't even set her wig on fire also.

larf's

as sent by a mate. enjoy!

----------------------------------------------
Chicago sent its police chief, fire chief, and city attorney to a municipal management conference in Indiana. While driving through a rural area, their car broke down, and they sought assistance at a nearby farmhouse.

The farmer told them that the local garage was closed, and that they were welcome to spend the night, but that he only had one small spare bed. He told them that somebody could sleep on his couch, but that one of them would have to spend the night in his barn.

The police chief announced that he would volunteer to sleep in the barn. A short time later there was a knock at the door. It was the police chief, complaining that he could not sleep. There were pigs in the barn, and they reminded him of insults that had been yelled at him, and he was too disturbed to sleep.

The fire chief stated that he would trade with the police chief, and went out to the barn. A short time later, again there was rapping at the door. It was the fire chief, who complained that the cows in the barn reminded him of Mrs. O'Leary's cow that started the great Chicago fire.

He had tried to sleep, but kept having nightmares where they were kicking over lanterns and setting the barn ablaze.

The city attorney declared, "You two are such babies. I will go sleep in the barn." Everything seemed fine, until a few minutes later, yet another knock was heard at the door. When the occupants answered the door, they found all the cows and pigs.

they gonna get big-headed

reading this piece of news

reminds me of that comment made by the duke of edinburgh to a bunch of student's in the peopre's lepubrik. many many many :: ad infinitum :: moon's ago. you know, the slitty eye remark?

hohoho.

soz. though said piece of news is not quite related; i reckon the lowly chauvinistic half of the wee islet ethnic chink population would whoop with joy if they get wind of it.

cue: "see? even the caucasian's are learning our language [oh really?] shame on you, *yellow banana's!"

twattin cunt's. oh and so would the entire peopre's lepubrik i'm sure, goin by the dirty looks made by those wanker's who are here. especially towards wee islander's who speak english with one another.

so, what's next then? a possible directive for the entire blue marble to eat with chopsticks?

cue: another round of derisive laughter aimed at the letter b for the way she grasps her chopsticks. like a fumbling foreigner.

*degoratory term for originally english-speakin ethnic chink anglophiles who - amongst other things - can't speak chink to save their lives. but so fuckin wot?

squawked!

so, there's no need for a private investigator to snoop on your other half then. when a parrot can do the job for a free - complete with mimicry. now, now, not that i'm condonin this practice if you do trust yer other half with your life.

seriously, my sympathies lie with the fella. he ought to chuck that cheating bint out a long time ago when she first started whingein about his time spent with his pet.

i mean, she could always put up. or fuck off. ok, they could always compromise. like, alloting an equal amount of time for each bird. innit?

or probably the poor sod did find his feathered mate a far more interesting creature after all.

seriously, folks

has the entire - well, almost - human race become so ugly that they have to resort to remodifications?

or is this a sign that homo mong's are indeed regressin back to the time when every single being appeared ape-ish?

and i thought only korean, mainland chink and wee island bint's are driven to fix their mug's, trunks and wotever else. especially so their slit's and beaks. which i've witnessed a sharp increase lately over ere. especially amongst em skanky-lookin type's.

"..wanna look half-breed/caucasian.." - as proclaimed by some defective cow. ethnic chink, obviously. who can't string a decent sentence in [proper] english together, obviously. and for obviously cunning reason's also.

give me frankenstein, anytime.

total daftness

where the fuck was this cow

when Katherine Horton was brutally raped and then murdered?

-----------------------------------------------
Police in the Thai beach resort of Pattaya said they had detained a man suspected of raping a British tourist after offering her a ride on his motorcycle. Police arrested the 19-year-old after the 29-year-old woman from Liverpool told police she had been raped by a Thai man, said police Major Apimuk Amnartmankong. The suspect faces up to 15 years in prison if convicted.

-----------------------------------------------

serves her right. frankly, it's utterly naive of western birds - in this instance, amoebic cow's - to think that men livin in third world countries like thailand are harmless. due to their abject poverty, they can't possibly ever possess any harmful thoughts whatsoever. can they?

in fact, they are far more dangerous, especially those communities who are totally clueless about - more specifically, have no respect for - humanity. not to mention, glarin absence of morality. and folk's tend to forget that western notions of respect doesn't apply to societies whereby hypocrisy is a way of life.

i'm wonderin if said cow was so hard up for a ride on the motorbike that she willingly took up the offer? if that's the case, she had it coming.

and it's highly probable that she was so charmed by the warmth and ever-smilin native's that she threw caution to the wind. mind, they are so warm and smiley because they are desperate for the tourist dosh.

it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out. innit?

my age shows

ack! but as i've had blahed about countless of times, they don't warble tunes like these any more.

yep, it's on my stereo now as we speak.

cor!

one just can't go against nature:

so it may explain why this took place on national telly then.

oh, and for that bint's parents to protect their precious. how old is she again?

inverse racism

i'm not gonna give a flyin fuck

that what i'm gonna rant next is a tad controversial.

isn't it sad that it is mighty wrong - or dare i say, totally un-pc - for the white majority to make loud noises about black or paki criminal scum committin horrifying atrocities on white's. lest the copper's would come around and then issue a verbal warning. or worse, a summons.

YET when a black teenager was "senselessly" murdered due to the colour of his skin - there'd be tremendous outpouring of grief; and then the obligatory press coverage that boarders on hysteria. oh not forgettin, the usual flurry of politically correct procedures put in place to ensure there's no repeat?

so it's ok for that white such and such to be robbed, raped, stabbed and left to die - or worse, paralysed for life - just because they happen to be wealthier and middle class? soz, that should be read as: the majority? so, tough that they were picked on by em black's or paki's. just because they happen to be victims of circumstance?

or are they merely assumin a victim mentality? or should that be read as: they are the perpetually discriminated minority who are not given a fair deal? by whom?

i admit i'm a tad prejudiced 'cos i didn't have any good impression of em lot whilst in the UK. everyone knows they hate chink's - and vice versa. and it so happened i look chink.

oh, and how come this bird's prevented from comin in to the country when she doesn't seem to do any harm? YET useless spastic amoebae [like asylum seeker's, "smuggled" forced-whorin poor thing's from eastern europe or asia, thai whore's disguised as factory workers in plymouth, filipino nurses in the nhs, thievin balkan's, oh and council estate chav's who can't spell to save their arses] who are fuckin mighty wastes of space are allowed to roam about the country? much less - horror! - breed?

anyone?

oh and btw, a really defective slag of a cousin [who got preggers *twice* in her teens - only 22 or 23 and her older sprog whom she wanted to rid of is already 8 years old] twice removed is on her way to old blighty. on the 2-year workin holiday visa. to work at some call centre in notts. or summat.

god help the UK.

sad twat's

i know a tad late, but still better late than never, innit?

anyways, it seems that this issue is a bluemarble-wide affliction after all. and i thought only the asian - nay, wee island - variety is obsessed with their quest to turn twiggy. serves to show how sad the human race has become. especially the bird species, eh?

right. so that makes me a dinosaur *rare* species then. ie: brainy and thin.

heheheh.

in a spot

i've always pride myself

for the ability to come up with a witty repartee - or the bestest comeback line ever - when caught unawares.

YET whenever i'm asked either of the followin:
1. "so, how long have you been ere?"
2. "you just relocated to the wee islet?"
3. "are you..er.. a wee islander?"

i'd inevitably give the enquirer a glazed look before stammerin an affirmative [ack!].that is, "statistically and officially" which i never fail to add.

sometimes i'll throw in "unfortunately" for good measure. but of course not if the enquirer's are wee islander - lest they mistook it as a slight. and then some would reply back: "i understand. my sympathies." especially those who have been ere for moon's.

and one american bird had to ask me - incredulously - yesterday, "how the hell could you stand this place?"

"i really have no idea myself. i must have sleepwalked my way all this while."

and us both guffawed. heartily.

question

does an MBA holder make a better

and/or more successful entrepreneur? than someone who isn't?

i asked this 'cos [whilst going through the usual direct marketing round - off an online network thingy] this "prestigious" [or so it was claimed] school's specialty seemed to be entrepreneurship. which happened to attract load's of folk from all over the blue marble to study ere.

of all place's. and then most of em upon graduation choose to stay on and start some business or other. surely some hooray!worthy piece of news for the government - of course. and i thought either you have got what it takes or you don't whatsoever? and that superior-soundin qualifications of any sort doesn't guarantee one success? read: material success.

anyhoo, most of those graduate's don't sound too bright either. they not only meander but have a penchant to use big complicated words to describe their previous work experiences and ambition's.

YAWN.

------------------------------
update: so i was right, then.

to sacrifice or not to sacrifice

i'm all for rules requirin immigrant's to adapt to their new surrounding's

- like, acquiring the native language within a certain period of time. and respecting the law's of the land. and discouraged from adopting the victim mentality. or sendin their daughter's back to whence they came for arranged marriages.

however, for the belgian's to ask their muslim community to buy gift's - amongst other suggestions - instead of sacrificing sheep on eid-al-adha [or simply known as hari raya haji over ere - none of those tongue-twistin labelling's] is a tad gallin. in my not so humble opinion, that is.

to claim that the practice is not an obligation but a tradition is lame - not to mention contradictory. it is peformed in honour of the prophet abraham; which is also the reason why adherent's are obliged to perform the haj at least once in their lifetime.

see the connection? and i mentioned contradictory - isn't giving of pressies durin crimbo a tradition which isn't originally intended so by christianity? i reckon that if christian's are urged to not engage in pressie exchange, there'd be an uproar innit? almost tantamount to a sacrilege, innit?

oh, how about consigning st nick to the history books - since having him around was originally a dutch idea? but who actually was a turk? the irony. and see how confused st nick is since he's variously called father christmas, santa claus, pere noël and wotever else in various tongue's.

soz. isn't the call by the belgian's smacked of western superiority? or should i dare say, *continental* imperialist attitude?

btw, what makes the animal cruelty types to say that the muslim method of slaughtering animal's is much more cruel? just because it's entirely different and strange from what one's used to, so it is more cruel?

duh?

just like what some irish bint had proclaimed on an online news forum. which almost led me to call her "provincial one-track mind amoeba".

twatting scum

read the boast made by the rapists, soz murderer's of Katherine Horton. makes one sick, innit?

it not only serves to show that life is dirt cheap amongst em thai's; it also further justifies my utter disdain towards these hypocritical oh-so-honest-and-holy-livin buddhist lowest of the low common denominator's.

btw, what's so fuckin fabtastic about holidayin in a country where it seems only ethnic chink's are the ones runnin it anyway?

where dirt-poor far-flung provincial families even insist that their daughter's become whore's in bangkok?

bless!

Lady Thatcher. and her cabinet:

because the swede's emselves were at a loss over their very own nessie. called Storsjo.

regardless, i'm utterly glad that nessie is protected from harm of any imaginable sort. 'cos apart from bagpipe's and haggi [plural of haggis], nessie is the only other identifiable scottish icon.

what irony

right.

so owner's of chinese and indian takeaways are makin a massive hoo-ha about the latest directive - ie: hire eastern european's or a takeover by kebab shop's.

their claim that outsider's - ie: eastern europeans - would make the nosh less authentic is at best laughable. it's the fear of letting outsider's know their closely-guarded recipes, more like it. not to mention, general distrust of anyone outside their race.

also, i can vouch that the ever-popular so-called wee island fried rice, wee island fried vermicelli and summat are anythin but. they are not even close to an imitation. honest. and i was rightly warned by a mate to avoid "chink" nosh shortly before i made the trip to the UK. precisely because they were anythin but. only for my arrival at windermere coincided with the closin of shutters at half 5. sharpish.

wot to do? so here i was [reluctantly] walkin to the only takeaway. that was just around the corner from the b&b i put up at. upon my entrance, the bird takin down the orders was mighty surprised to see me - didn't quite expect to see another "chink" in windermere, i guess.

anyhoo, i decided to show off with whatever [minimal] cantonese i could muster to place my order. and i found meself bamboozled as i hardly spoke the dialect whilst back home. and then i had to ask whereabouts the chef's were from. hong kong, came the reply.

ah. right. but of course. and before the alarm bell's could even ring, said bird ask me if i was malaysian. heh. she went silent when i [reluctantly] replied i was from the wee islet. probably because she didn't quite expect a wee islander speakin her language. and that it's the lingua franca amongst malaysian chink's also.

so when i finally settled down to chomp back at the b&b, i was greeted by the sorry sight of a pseudo wee island fried rice. wee island indeed. but then since the cook's emselves were hongkies, surely they couldn't reproduce the authentic whatsoever innit.

apart from the use of substitute ingredient's. and same goes for the curries which an acquaintace recounted spat out right in front of the waiter. he was indignant that they insisted he was served "authentic" indian curry. only for him to rebutt, "who yer kiddin mate, i know if it's a curry or otherwise. btw i'm indian [by way of adoption] too.".

likewise, the fish and chip's over ere are anythin but. innit.

btw, am i the only one thinkin that the UK would be completely overrun by eastern european's soonest?

bloody EU.

tippin down

since pre-dawn today, the entire wee islet has been submerged in rainwater. and as expected, as em frog's [as in amphibian] were heard croakin when i woke up around the same time.

and as such, yers truly is shiverin due to the drop in temperature - via the monsoon winds. the diff isn't much but it is still chilly.

with that said, it's a pleasant change from the terrible heatwave that struck the islet not too long ago.

analysed

my handwriting that is.

and see what they had got to say as summarised. which is not unexpected really:

a curious and creative mind hard at work.

this is mighty surprising, given that tact is not my strongest point.

me mind is constantly analysing whatever situation i encounter.

see the gap's? i'd yak even when there's absolutely nothin logical to talk about.

the end-stroke indicates a defiant and rebellious nature. or a "they can bloody well go fuck emselves" k.

possess a huge dose of high self-esteem. 'nuff said.

whomever admitted to my innermost circle of 2 to 3 mate's ought to be grateful for the opportunity.

the long tail indicates self-sufficiency. and a lone ranger.

not one to look back at my past and wish thing's would be different.

well, duh!!

read this off sparx's.

attention all regular readers of this wonderful blog: please note the rather unoriginal subject title which was purloined from said post. it is one of those rare unfortunate moments whereby the letter b's braincells simply refuse to work [being a friday today] the malady is temporary, so there should be no cause for worry.

thank you in advance for your concern.

morbidity

off this week's the northerner,

i can't help but think it's the weather oop north that has gotta do with all these grisly crimes.

seriously, i'd like to lay me paws on the book featured. so in the meanwhile, enjoy.

-----------------------------------------------------
Moving backwards in time, we bring you some of the Christmas cheer brought to its readers by the Sunderland Echo, which celebrated the joyful season by publishing selections from a new book by Nigel Green called Tough Times and Grisly Crimes, a catalogue of Wearside horrors.

"A cold autumn wind blew through the village of Hetton on October 31, as a middle-aged man sat in the ale house sipping beer by the warm glow of the fire," begins one of the tales. "It was only 11 o'clock in the morning, but Billy Johnson's mind was already blurred with drink as he gripped the pistol concealed under his jacket."

You have to read on.

Mr Johnson, a farm labourer, was in love with Margaret Addison, a widow with whom he had lodged for 17 years. But Mrs Addison had spurned his proposals of marriage, preferring instead to frolic with Andrew Simpson, a miner and frequent visitor to her home. "From his room upstairs, Johnson would listen to the couple laughing together. Then, with his blood boiling, he would watch Mr Simpson kissing Margaret from his window."

Mr Johnson cracked on the day Mr Simpson and Mrs Addison were to marry.

"Dressed in a cream gown and carrying a small bouquet of flowers, she began the walk down Station Road, followed by the bridesmaids and other relations and friends.

"As Margaret passed the pub, Johnson left the building and ran up behind the bride. He pulled out the gun and rapidly fired two shots - straight into her head.

"Johnson then calmly strode to the police station, intending to give himself up, only to find Sergeant Cartwright out of his office and his wife manning the desk. He quietly sat down in the small office while, outside, the wedding party picked up Margaret's body and carried it to her home.

"After returning to his office and listening to Johnson's confession, Sergeant Cartwright handcuffed his prisoner and walked him the two miles to Houghton police station.

"Throughout the journey, the prisoner expressed no regrets, instead saying: 'I am happier now than I would be had she married him'."

There follow other tales of a murdered prostitute, a battered baby and a boy sweep suffocated up a chimney. Not to mention a little grave robbing: "Shortly after midnight one night, [a] man dug up a body and placed it in a sack, tied with a piece of rope, slung around his shoulder.

"As he made his way over the tall graveyard wall, he lost his balance and fell. The rope tightened around his neck and he was left hanging, suspended by the corpse's weight. He remained there for some time until the church watchmen, making their rounds, lanterns in hand, came upon him - still kicking and choking. He died soon after."

A happy new year to all the Echo's readers.

ere doggy.. *whistle*.. good dog!

a peopre's lepubrik company are invitin applicant's, born in the year of the woof, to work with em. the reason? see emphasis:

right. see subject title above. although i can't agree more about the traits of animal's associated with the year we were born in.

i can't argue with the fact that i do chat till the cow's come home. especially in the company of fellow simian's.

discriminatory?

am i alone in thinkin

- upon readin the "black-tie" bit on an invite to some posh ball [in this case, the forthcomin george washington ball to be held by the wee island yank association] - that the unwritten rule for bird's to tog out in formal frocks is:
1. completely outmoded
2. totally sexist
3. utterly daft
4. utter bollocks

besides, a ridiculous request for those who are built like twig's. like yers truly.

the words "black tie" never fail to annoy me. as long as my trouser suit are stylish and in black, and then with a string of lurvely pearl's to go along; won't i look as erm, gorgeous as the next bird?

oh and that pair of glasses for magnifying maximum effect.

i wonder who's the fuckin defective idiot that first came up with the idea of the gowned-ditzy-and-blingtastic helium-filled airhead of the ball. and what's more amazin is that bird's are willing to subject emselves to such tosh.

but of course, since it's an opportunity to engage in an eyedagger-throwin compo especially true amongst wee island cheapskate's not to be missed to become the centre of attention. oh, and must champagne be served? how come not guinness?!

and i have to pay 200 wee island quid to attend said ball? the words daylight and robbery came to mind.

argh! molest!!

yeah right. just a mere eleven cases of alleged molesting's that happened downtown on new year's day. and they are makin a mountain out of a molehill.

honestly, these severely under-dressed [read: slutty] wee island slag's are a bunch of hypocrite's. i reckon if the perpetrator's are white, they'd be too chuffed to do the deed on the spot.

foreign national's: read bangladeshi, sri lankan and thai construction workers.

interspecies union

no, it's not somethin off star trek. and i thought the lizard-human coupling in V is a tad erm, revolting.

in fact, this is far more shockin and gobsmacking. not to mention, mad:

must be the water around the resort, i tell ye.

this week's toons

soz for the lateness, folks. not my fault though.

wastes of atoms and space

what's with young bint's these days?

given their apparent lack of moral's and common sense, wouldn't it be good for the future of humankind that they be spayed the moment they reach puberty? just like cat's and dog's?

first, there's a manc cunt who cried wolf - see how convenient it is to accuse "four asian" men for raping her - when she was actually "drinkin" with a work "colleague". and then you have a couple of chavette's who think it's ok to loaf about. oh, and they are even allowed to breed. blimey.

and then, yet another rape victim who was then bludgeoned to death in thailand. surely these holidaying student's would have known that that country is completely unsafe for female tourist's?

after all those past report's of exact same incidents, it's beyond belief that these cow's are totally unaware of the dangers. especially in a place where western bird's are seen as fair game. oh, see the grief they gave to their families?

besides, it's a well-known fact that the police over there are blatantly corrupt and utterly incompetent. in fact, thai's in general have to be pushed to do their work. even if a huge amount of dosh is proffered, they will not put in the extra effort.

they have no sense of time and urgency - that's why the country is so dependant on visitin foreign navies and sex tourist's. see? i mean, how could a country progress if its native's move about on a snail's pace?

why do you's think the country is known as the land of smiles then?

outraged

i can safely say that whomever

the contemptible scum inflictin such harm on the moggy will not live happily ever after:

i've had heard stories of how animal abuser's ere ended up in a vegetative state; or met a violent end.

one of which was me bro's fellow national service conscript of a twat who - despite warning's to stop - derived sadistic pleasure in kickin a stray dog. this dog would wait by the gates of the army camp at a certain time. and then walked together with the servicemen on night patrol through the secondary forest around the camp.

and i'm sure that dog wasn't the only animal who suffered at his paw's. and then said twat, as a front-seat passenger met with an accident. the driver of the car and other passenger's escaped with minor superficial injuries. whereas said twat ended up in a sorry sad state. at a terribly young age of 20 or 21.

so there is a god after all.

got no qualm's

some of the finest

chink characteristic's of the peasant kind came to the fore in the latest intellectual property infringment - involving starbucks and a peopre's lepubrik coffee shop; replete with exact same name:
1. blatant opportunism
2. blatant copycating
3. no fucking sense of ethics and moral's

i tell ye, it's all in their dna 'cos their wee island brethren also display exact same mentality. like for instance, wee store's and fly-by-night opportunist's selling crystalled "jewelleries" are dime a dozen over ere. and just because it's one profitable and quick dosh-making venture - that any amoeba can pick up [read: blatantly copy] from those dime a dozen how-to-make book's from Taiwan [read: in chinese].

besides, if the next-door competitor sells a range of necklaces at 25 quid each, the new set-up will sell exact same copies at 20 quid each. and guess who would make more sales?

and what's more gallin is these copycat's calling emselves "entreprenuers". i'm sure somethin was lost in translation.

anyhoo, is it of any wonder then how come all of em [ok, 99.9%] look exactly the same? it all boils down to [copycat] genetics innit?

ouch.

sniggerworthy

found meself splutterin when i chanced upon this bit, see emphasis:

one just have to witness the appalling behaviour of the wealthier mainland chink's resident here on the wee islet. especially the misplaced-arrogant bird's. who may be dressed in designer gear from head to toe, but whose fuckin sense of style [or severe lack of] screams: "i flom peopre's lepubrik".

even their physical appearance betrays em no matter how hard they try to disguise emselves.

and pardon? these ill-bred peasant's want to appear well-bred?

:: gaggin sound ::

heaven is..

spendin a lazy weekend afternoon listenin to classical music. a condensed 1-hour version of the 10-day bach christmas - on the bbc world to be precised.

and here i was feeling tremendously sorry for meself the other day when it was first reported. i happened to tune in to the radio early this afternoon that said programme came on.

what made it more delightful was an organ and strings concerto that was put together from two of Bach's works. oh and may i mention a purely harpsichord concerto also.

it was pure joy, this aural treat.