my innermost sanctum

meme

stolen off sparx's. normal transmission will resume shortly.

1. My uncle once: tried his hand in fighter pilot training - it all went well until he got off some simulator and then puked all over the shop.

2. Never in my life: have I grown me barnet long - never fancy it at all as it screams "minging twattin bint". as in the asian context.

3. When I was five: i walloped a lad who was a neighbour - can't recall what it was all about but i still remember he's blond and blue-eyed. probably aussie - see walloped.

4. High School is: when PE was the only period i looked forward to. oh and the weekly 45-minutes music/warblin [tune's like this mostly] session's during the first two year's.

and spent alot of time at the library also. ever looking forward to saturday morning's so that i could wear my police cadet uniform. oh and writin poem's also. just anythin other than payin attention in class.

5. My parents are: folk you can't choose.

6. I once met: Kevin Keegle, Terry McDermott and Ian Rush - not at the same time and the latter is me bro's hero. and i'm a manyoooo fan. the utter irony this must be a sign joke.

7. There's this girl I knew who: i didn't realise was a whore as we got on really well. with her askin after me mum when i told her about her gall bladder surgery. and then whenever she saw me at the local, she'd never fail to come up to me to say 'hi'.

the funny bit was i told her exactly where to go - in indonesian which i was just guessin she was - the first time when she tried to make goo-goo eyes at some bloke i erm chatted with. i hardly see her around lately though, i hope she's ok.

8. Once, at a bar: i politely told some wanker to sod off or i'd smash my bottle of corona on his bonce.

9. Last night: i was sat watchin my grey cells vegetate.

10. Next time I go to church: i'll promise the one above i'll stop winding people up.

11. When I turn my head left, I see: my work desk.

12. When I turn my head right, I see: my bookshelf. that's about to give way.

13. How many days until my birthday?: exactly 8 months and 31 days away.

14. If I was a character written by Shakespeare I'd be: the court jester - surely the most non-complicated non-tragic *character*. who has a starring role in most shakespeare's plays. woohoo.

15. By this time next year: hopefully make a return trip to the UK.

16. A better name for me would be: not applicable, this. i like the letter b as it is.

17. I have a hard time understanding: why amoebae, scum, trailer park trash, chav's, homo mong's et al are allowed to exist. of all creature's.

18. If I ever go back to school I: blow up the science lab.

19. You know I like you if: i tell you my life story.

20. If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: all my loved one's.

21. Take my advice: 'cos i can read the future.

22. My ideal breakfast is: banger's and mash.

23. If you visit my hometown: i'll take ye to the local for a pint or three.

24. Why won't someone: stop breeding? except a select few of course.

25. If you spend the night at my house: you'll have to sleep on the settee 'cos there's no spare room in the flat.

26. I'd stop my wedding: if it's really the end of the blue marble.

27. The world could do without: human being's.

28. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: date a wee island or asian male - they'd usually do three thing's: (1) ask daft question's as to why i like footy (2) hate it that i know footy more than they do (3) insult my intelligence by sayin that the real reason i watch footy is because of the player's.

twattin cunt's.

29. Paper clips are more useful than: a stapler. not.

30. If I do anything well, it is: scoring some decent goal's if i have a chance to play footy again. no, score penalties like cantona - that's more like it.

31. And by the way: i can't make my way round without me glasses. sad or wot.

as enscribed by the letter b @ December 13, 2005 11:15 AM | someone's pinged