September 30, 2004
choccy overload
the whole yesterday at the workplace i was:
1. snackin' on M&S chocolate chip cookies
2. snackin' on a packet of crisps
3. munchin' on 2 bar's of choccy's
and then for dessert after dinner:
1. mocha almond choccy chip ice cream
yet sadly, i don't put on a single ounce of weight. heh, some sad wee island bint's are gonna hate me for this.
:: cue - "why you so skinny one, letter b?" with the sound of claws sharpening in the background ::
a blinkerful
of really young fit birds. seems like there are alot more mixed-heritage contestant's in the running this year.
no matter, they are mighty gorgeous.
they quit!
my department and the other which we work closely with have been hit by a spate of resignation's these past couple of month's.
not sure if it's a sign of economic recovery that 'em resignees seem to be able to find another job. or that they were totally fed up with the gaffer.
i'd like to believe it's the latter. now i'm not sure when my turn will be. soon.
September 29, 2004
somethin' new
i'm not aware that there is such a thing as Test Series for hockey. field hockey that is, to my american readers.
given that it'll be held between India and Pakistan, that explains.
they ARE rude vile pigs
no wonder the peopre's lepubrik of wotsit are wanting to invade 'em.
witness the anger unleashed by the taiwanese foreign minister who was mighty pissed with the wee isle for their insolence, emphasis mine:
Chen Tan-sun was angry over comments made by Singapore's foreign minister, George Yeo, who recently said Taiwan should not press for independence.
Mr Chen said: "Even Singapore, a country the size of a piece of snot, can swagger around to criticise Taiwan at the United Nations".
He said Mr Yeo only made the comments to please Taiwan's rival, China.
well at least the wee isle doesn't confuse the whole wide world by calling itself "the republic of wee china" like yours do, mr chen. talk of rude and vile mammals, witness this and this from the workplace's taiwan office.
oh and how about this email addressed to sales in mangled english; coming from the same bunch of mong's who never fail to take pleasure in winding up the islet's ethnic chink's for:
1. their perceived atrocious chinese
2. not being proud of their chinese roots
Morning Cow,
Kindly pass this attached information to the person need to know as well.
Highly appreciated for your assistant.
Best Regards,
Minger from Taiwan
pot, kettle. anyhooo, about time that someone teaches the whole lot of 'em a lesson.
unreliably reliable
UNRELIABLE FACT OF THE DAY
From the Brains Trust
29 September 2004
ACRONYMS
The most common illness among management consultants is acronymitus, an uncontrollable urge to convert every phrase into an acronym or abbreviation. Chronic sufferers have lost the ability to communicate using normal words and construct entire sentences made up of words which are in fact acronyms.
This makes conversation impossible with anyone except fellow sufferers. It is predicted that this will lead to inbreeding and the eventual extinction of the race.
what did i say
about 'em wee islanders' irrational fascination and infatuation with chinks from the western hemisphere. or american-educated chinks/east asians returning to asia. who, to their wee mind's, are so darn exotic.
puke.
now, the wee island dedicated news channel's morning show have replaced the no-brainer pair of american-twanged filipino's of chinese extraction with yet another pair of american-twanged asians. one, a south korean bird who's a wee island permanent resident; the other, an american-born chink (ABC) from los angeles. or going by the proper name they give themselves, asian-american.
to think that for a broadcast channel that originates from the islet, they have to source for third-rate foreign "talents", eh? especially ABC's who are out of work back home.
September 28, 2004
September 27, 2004
the ultimate
helium-head ever. nicked without permission off football 365's mediawatch:
It’s A Tough Life
And by Jove, it certainly is if you are a supermodel!
"I’m always multitasking," Heidi Klum informs The Sunday Times magazine. "Eating, on the phone, interview, everything all at once. And people wonder how I stay in shape!"
We live in awe, madam.
and these very spastic's are allowed to come this far in life.
i know of one cretin of an ex-model who turned up just once for the monthly canuck tank-up; and who is so effin' proud of herself for the fact that she runs a make-over outfit for the utterly clueless and horribly inept.
i can safely vouch she has got helium for matter inside that noggin of hers.
good lordy
a genealogist who had nothing better to do did some heritage tracing of both Prez Bush and Senator Kerry. and the result was both are ninth cousins twice removed, sharing a common ancestor who was an Essex lad.
whose daughter's married into powerful families in the new world. reet. so both were Essex girl's then.
come to think of it, there were some striking similarities between 'em cousins, innit? like, they engage gob before brain for example.
boilin' blood
sample this email exchange with an amoeba of a cow-orker. SOSU is the programme code for an english premiership magazine:
cow-orker: Hi Letter B - SOSU episode 1169344, please include the features OFL1, OTS2, OMW1, OFT1, FFL1, FMH1, LMW1, DFT1 etc...
letter b, who checked SOSU programme format to make sure said features exist but they don't: Cow - Pertaining to the features, I understand these have not been asked of previously for SOSU? Please confirm what else you require before I do the necessary.
cow-orker: But these features are not new, please refer to 1153144 as a reference. Thanks very much.
letter b: I think you missed my point -> I'm refering to the *entire* SOSU ie: if you do require these and any other features for future airings, I could do it for the rest of the season. instead of you emailing me lists of episodes as and when you fancy.
to think some trouble-making but cowardly wee islander's in cyberspace whining rather loudly that i was being a git for calling 'em names. at other bloggers', mind.
typical wee islander
i know this is old news. but look carefully at the sport title just above the headlines. and then scan through the content.
this comes from 2003's pacific area newspaper of the year. begs the question if the rag's editor does any work. at all.
*manic monday
brain cells frozen rightly, need to go stand under the sun to thaw. temperature at the workplace dropped to subzero degree centigrade an hour or three ago.
what do the workplace think we are? machines??
and right over 'ere in my section, two cow-orker's are absent from work. one of whom is officially on leave, while the other reported sick. youngling's these days, they just simply can't take any form of stress, can they?
tsk, tsk.
oh, and i lurve this new lipstick of mine, which is a biscuit shade of brown.
* i know, i know, nicked that title off the bangles' hit of same name.
September 24, 2004
scissors, paper, STONE!
that childhood game which every wee islander must know will see a bluemarble-wide gathering of sorts come this weekend in Vancouver, Canada.
not sure if i should go put my name down for future competitions like these. anyhooo, an official guide to the game will be out next month. a strategic guide, no less. ain't it a tad triflin'?
also, ta muchly to aussie Simon for the link.
unreliably reliable
UNRELIABLE FACT OF THE DAY
From the Brains Trust
24 September 2004
SNOGGING
The derivation of the word "snogging" comes from the ancient Inuit game of Snoggery, which involves pushing small fish around the ice with their tongues.
pagans
what i have had suspected all along of the workplace's taiwan office. extract off an email, emphasis mine:
Please be informed that 28, Sep(next Tuesday) is Moon Festival, a national holiday in Taiwan.
Best Regards,
name deleted to protect the letter b's real identity
i just can't help being cheeky by querying the above lifeform preparations they're making to worship the moon.
i know, i know he was actually refering to what is more commonly known over here as the Lantern or "Mid-Autumn" Festival. just that the "cake" after the Moon bit went missing.
September 23, 2004
the blue marble
if you's are up for a visual feast, go take a peek at some really awesome gobwaterin' close-ups of this wonderful planet called, erm, the blue marble.
have got too much time on me paws apparently.
flutterin' in the wind
what did i say about colours affecting one's sense of equilibrium and somesuch. today my work clobber are colours of the wee island flag. ie: red and (khakish) white.
indeed i'm feeling like one as we speak. ie: a flag.
blimey
spent a good bit of my lunchtime surfing the wee island idol website. i don't watch it, but still curious as to who qualified for the finals next week.
still, i'm not going to sit in front of the telly to watch it 'cos it's right appalling. unless i'm bribed to do so.
wee island idiosyncracies
it is not surprising to the casual observer that some headscarfed muslim women over 'ere on the wee isle are better-informed, well-educated and more enlightened. than their fellow so-called liberated non-headscarfed sisters.
and they also speak proper english.
nerve wreaking
the personal assistant to the engineering head sits three cubefarms away. behind me. YET i could hear her chomping on her food without closing her gob. just so typical.
and she has to yak whilst chomping. i'm just so wanting to go up to her with this instrument:
olympics 2012
2012 is still a long way to go, but the coots at IOC are already toying the idea of possibly including golf for that year's massive politics-fuelled joke of a global compo.
to be honest, i'd rather watch bowling. not because i once "played" it many many many ::ad infinitum:: moons ago. and to think that chess is not given the nod. bah!
if golf does make it, there'd be more than the usual coverage on the telly in this half of the blue marble.
unreliably reliable
UNRELIABLE FACT OF THE DAY
From the Brains Trust
22 September 2004
FATHER, SON AND HOLY DUBLINER
A recent study by leading Irish theologians questions Jesus' nationality. Father Liam O'Shea, a contributor to the study said, "He made water out of wine, spoke in riddles and went around starting arguments, If Jesus wasnt Irish then Im the feckin pope!"
September 22, 2004
skiver, skiver
here i was, getting ready to set my fingers on keyboard and focus on my biz planning. and then an ex-fling a good mate in the UK hollered for a chat. on messanger, what else.
and here we are gibbering for nearly a couple of hours already. not sure if he has got his work done though.
i'm very sure he's not skivin'.
bling-blinged
am away from work today and was supposed to look into my business planning and such. but no, i ended up at the jewellerysmith's with the mum.
and buying meself a wee diamond ring. all because of this 0% interest 12-month instalment plan, that my evil credit card company introduced together with other likeminded's. to tempt the utter gullible, that is.
yeah to think the letter b is gullible. gullible enough to spend on a carbon thingy.
that's history in the making.
--------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER: since two matey's have queried if there was some reason or two to my buying the ring, may i dispel whatever thoughts you's have in mind.
it's quite rather commonplace for wee island birds to buy diamond thingies and summat for themselves. as ".. a reward for work well done/promotion/wotsit.." to quote 'em. but actually some do so to simply show off to their mates.
but of course, none of the above applies to the letter b. hence the disclaimer. honestly, i still haven't worked out as to why i bought it.
a moment of pure madness perhaps.
September 21, 2004
yet another one
this time, the studio guest for the english premiership production is the totty ex-magpie Robert Lee. and he had this horrendously ugly grey pseudo-70's tie on. which i suspect belonged to the wardrobe unit. what crime.
and no, i haven't accosted him along the corridor begged him for his pawprint as yet. 'cos i already have one when he was here with newcastle united back in 1996.
:P
isn't that weird
whenever i come into verbal contact with english folk, i'd interject my sentences with "erm..". and if they are northerners, the 'u' in words like club, cumbria, bus becomes 'oo'.
not to mention, my naturally humorous self emerges.
erm, yeah, there's this new english girl who has joined the department i have to work closely with daily. at least, there's someone whom i could speak proper english with from now on.
thank goodness.
d'ya know that..
1. there was an Asia Baseball Championship last year? --> reet. the usual suspects are taiwan, japan, south korea and the philippines. how misleading that, like as if the entire asia continent is involved. isn't East Asia/Far East Baseball wotsit more appropriate?
2. taiwanese actually watch loadsa taiwan-made soap drama's above all else? --> heh, even their parliamentary sessions are quasi drama's in themselves.
3. sport-mad females residing on this half of the blue marble are wee islander? --> indeed alot of 'em twenty-something females do play a wide-variety of sport. apart from watching the english premiership.
4. indians don't fancy footy? --> it doesn't take a rocket scientist to work that out. coming from a land where cricket is *the* religion.
and how do i know all these? courtesy of 'em marketing research folk, who are now in their third week presenting their impressive graphs-littered but much useless collated statistics.
but looking at the bright side, i got to blah about this despite being involuntarily rendered (temporary) comatose.
September 20, 2004
no blah's
the letter b's brains took a breather today. was out gallivanting - the letter b that is, not her grey matter - with her mum at a nearby housing estate's shopping mall, which was a 20-minute bus ride away.
a good day out if not for those massive herds of boisterous secondary school children who were supposed to be home around that time.
anyhooo, do keep yer blinker's peeled. something utterly brilliant may come this way.
September 19, 2004
more larf's
from same web site:
Top 9 comments made by NBC at the Olympics
Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:
1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.
5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
7. At the rowing medal ceremony:"Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."
8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"
larf's
nicked this off a web site. the letter b must however clarify and emphasise that she does not make such duh?worthy daft demands of her future partner - unlike the rest of 'em 99.5% females the bluemarble over - as she is one self-sufficient and utterly self-confident bird.
honest.
How to make a woman happy?
It's really not difficult...
To make a woman happy; a man only needs to be :
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organiser
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
44. give her compliments regularly
45. love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. not stress her out
49. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
53. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY :
1. Shag him
2. Leave him in peace
September 17, 2004
it must be friday
i'm now warblin' along to duran duran's "the reflex" off the radio. amazingly, i can still remember the words to it. word for word. without missing a beat. after twenty years. exactly.
cor, i'm that old.
lost and found
lost: the chair thought i'd left the blogiverse.
found: both krip & sidekick are back. Back. BACK.
i'm well chuffed, to say the least, to hear from them all again. and the fact that i'm so well-loved.
i think.
signs of aging
i got meself in near despair whilst searching in vain for a cricket match programme format on the excel spreadsheet. note: this is same exact excel spreadsheet i have been accessing since the beginning of this year. intermittently.
so i approached my colleague who came over to my cube farm to extract the info. and then i exclaimed in typical wee island fashion: don't have, wot!
colleague replied: letter b, you have to scroll it down. there!
duh.
September 16, 2004
just one hit
just heard "the promise" on the radio, which prompted me to find out which 80's outfit warbled it. and i found this gem.
indeed, 'em one-hit wonders might be long gone but they ain't forgotten. btw said warblers were "when in rome", and now i recall how i used to play that tune again and again and again and ::ad infinitum:: on my stereo.
"my name is donut.."
spotted a really fine and splendid name that belongs to a wee islander: DONUT TANG WOTSIT
the 'tang' bit of course is the family name, whereas wotsit is his/her/its chinese name that escaped me. honest, me blinkers weren't playing tricks on me.
surely this Donut person could rival some of hong kong's best who called themselves chewbacca, money, fish, strawberry and such.
fruitcake's, all of 'em.
gah!
an MIS colleague asked me this, whilst reconfiguring my system network profile; in typical wee island fashion: eh, why you cut your hair so short?
i nearly blurted: is it of any concern of yours? because i want to think clearly without the hair clouding my judgement.
instead i came up with: because i play sports, la.
they just cannot mind their own business, can they 'em wee islanders.
happy new year
today's the jewish new year, rosh hashanah. technically it started at dusk yesterday, as it is the norm for jewish holidays. and ends nightfall tomorrow.
so, l'shanah tova to you's, and to aussie Simon and Rachel Ann especially who announced it on their blogs.
September 15, 2004
a first
the deutsche welle have boldly done which no online thingy has done before. to celebrate their tenth anniversary wotsit, the german broadcaster launch an online klingon language service. with a klingon quiz to boot, of which i scored 8 out of 10.
but of course being a trekkie, i should know some rudimentary klingon general knowledge. innit?
indeed the gerry's do have a sense of humour:
Guido Baumhauer, head of DW's Online services, told the BBC that although the pages were initially published as a joke by DW engineers in their spare time, he has been taken aback by their popularity.
honestly, it's a cracking site. the english version, that is.
confirmed
the more i peep at the mirror, the more i'm convinced i look like my new heroine.
erm, the wee lass with the odd barnet, that is.
breaking news
just heard off the radio. another sad twit jumped onto the path of an incoming train at a tube station near to the workplace past noon.
a colleague speculated he might have been shoved and then tumbled onto the tracks. yeah, that's the theory of the day favoured by 99.9% of wee islanders. who are in a perpetual state of denial.
this particular station doesn't come with elevated platforms like the rest that dot the islet. it's on firm ground level, and even if that poor sod was shoved, he could have just got up and scrambled back on again.
before the train hit him. duh.
face it folks, ending yer life on a train track is now a favourite form of hara kiri. for utterly inconsiderate sods who should have terminated their lives sooner. 'nuff said.
unreliably reliable
UNRELIABLE FACT OF THE DAY
From the Brains Trust
15 September 2004
LAWS OF PHYSICS
The so-called laws of physics were invented by Gene Roddenbury, to lend an air of reality to Star Trek in the 1970s. In fact, the "laws" are little more than some locally agreed customs, and may not hold true in all places and at all times.
pray with the lions
staff at the melbourne zoo should mind their own business and leave this bozo alone in the lions' den. after all, it could be an alternative entertainment for other visitors to watch a 'live' mauling.
nay, let me re-phrase that last bit: after all, said bozo had believed that the bible could work it's divine magic on the cat's.
there.
September 14, 2004
unreliably reliable
UNRELIABLE FACT OF THE DAY
From the Brains Trust
14 September 2004
HEADLINES
The term "Headline" derives from the fact that people using the newspaper as a makeshift umbrella got a black mark across their forehead.
almost lookalikey?
went for a haircut during lunch hour. left it to my trusted hairdresser to work her magic on. and lo and behold, i ended up with a barnet that remotely resembles catherine zeta-jones' "chicago" type of stylee.
but i'm not implying that i remotely resemble her, y'know.
September 13, 2004
queried
whilst trawling the stats to this blog, two lifeform's - or probably the one and same twit - googled and came peeking here: we were colonised by wankers
yeah, as if said lifeform wasn't a wanker to begin with.
unreliably reliable
UNRELIABLE FACT OF THE DAY
From the Brains Trust
13 September 2004
VAST INCREASE IN CHURCH ATTENDANCE.
Due to the massive influx of Muslim immigrants who have turned to Christianity since settling in the UK, Church attendance on Sunday throughout the country has increased to sixty two million.
goodness gracious
whilst an indonesian bairn lay fighting for her life in a private hospital here, two fellas - each claiming to be her biological father - slugged it out, calling each other's bluff.
i'm not going to say anything lest i'd be accused of being completely insane, insensitive and disrespectful towards the kid's deceased mother.
and ta to aussie Simon for the smh link. and go read his thoughts about the atrocity.
the islet's really desperate..
.. for babies as their one and only "natural" resource is people. or in wee island context, sheep. metaphorically speaking. like as if there ain't enough of those around to make the handful of us suffer.
and in their usual meddlesome intrusive fashion, 'em Legitimate Gangster's deem it fit to insult our intellligence and dignity by bombarding our senses with organised tackyworthy activities islet-wide, through their youth organisation. witness this headline:
People's Association takes fun, soft-sell approach in its grassroots efforts to boost marriage and parenting
yawn. as if i'd be motivated enough to go out, pick up some tom, dick or harry randomly. and then get meself preggers and breed like a sow. all for the sake of my "country".
talk of which..
At Hong Kah GRC, Dr Khor, a member of the national panel that studied the declining population issue, has been pushing the PA women's and youth groups to get involved in programmes that promote marriage and procreation.
the words "marriage", "procreate", "parenting" and their synonyms are littered all over the article. and i'm now sick as a parrot as we speak.
a right commie state in disguise, this wee isle.
September 12, 2004
count 'em
bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire bon anniversaire..
à la lettre b :D
September 11, 2004
quizzed
if my memory serves me correctly, methinks i've had done this quiz before. i think.
woeful
the pathetically dismal state of sport on the wee isle:
1. badminton = dominated by some indonesian who got trounced at the recent olympics
2. table tennis / ping pong = dominated by a gaggle of peopre's lepubrik of wotsit birds, one of whom got trounced at the recent olympics
3. swimming = the entire islet - well almost - are witnessing the spiralling downfall of a bunch of young native's who only perform well against third-world southeast asian countries
4. footy = dominated by third-rate "i was in the same youth squad as the mighty romario, you know / i once played in middlesbrough f.c under-9 team and we were top of the table" foreigners who don't even have a monkey's chance in their respective international sides
5. (field) hockey = dominated by a gaggle of mongolian birds
and now this. an american representing the wee isle at bowling. erm, let me rephrase that sentence: the sole representative to a regional bowling compo. held where else but on the wee isle.
with all due respect to Tim wotsit, but methinks he must be second-rate or he wouldn't even bother donning the colours. would he?
duh?
emphasis, moi:
Indonesia could be embroiled in new disputes with neighbouring countries over a number of islands in border areas if it does not take adequate measures to assert its sovereignty, according to its navy.
instead of focusing on measures to prevent another catastrophe in their own backyard; they are looking into ways to engage in petty arguments with their neighbours pertaining to uninhabited territories.
sums up neatly about their mentality. or the severe lack of it.
three years to this day
to those who lost their loved ones on september 11 2001, my thoughts and prayers with you.
on that tragic evening - it was evening here on the wee isle - i was at this dodgy bar celebrating my 33rd birthday - which was the next day - with a couple of mates. we did notice some of the patrons gawping at the telly but one of my mates remarked, "it must be the footy..".
the utter irony/frightful bit was at that juncture, we were talking about the massive growing influence of islam. completely unaware of the unspeakable horror that was unfolding at the other side of the blue marble; carried out by a bunch of vile psychotic bastards who thought they were doing some gloriousworthy job.
indeed they have had done a marvellous job, those wankers. in causing discord and more bloodshed.
September 10, 2004
unreliably reliable
UNRELIABLE FACT OF THE DAY
From the Brains Trust
10 September 2004
PHONE BOX DILEMMA
Due to the increased use of mobile phones, the demand for public phone boxes has fallen dramatically. As a result, Superman has fewer and fewer places to change. In recent months, he has been too late arriving at the scene and so was unable to rescue anyone.
only on the wee isle..
.. that cyclists jostle for the same wee space on the footpath with us pedestrians. these amoebic menace do so by making us stumble onto the grass verge, by way of overtaking and ringing the bell incessantly.
it's not pure laziness by not riding on the road where they ARE supposed to be, they just don't want to end up mangled beyond utter recognition by larger vehicles.
yes, "wimps!" i hear you's cry.
and the irony is it's bangladeshi guest workers who display common sense and courtesy especially towards female pedestrian's.
atrocious
firstly there was the bali bombing, the marriot hotel last august in jakarta; and now the aussie high commission.
honestly, does anyone who possess at least half a brain seriously think these very same bunch of tosser's who set the bali bomber free would do something?
if they do, i'd see cows fly. and hear sheep gibber.
emulation
a colleague working in the same team as i am, who's leaving the workplace early next month has got this to say:
".. i gave a thought to what you advised me the other day letter b, and knowing you have had so much work experience, your my role model.."
yeah, hopefully one of the qualities she emulates is *not* turning into a wind-up merchant. the blue marble has more than enough of me those.
September 09, 2004
save the blue marble..
..by sending a dna noah's ark to the moon. a boffin of the european space agency is concerned that should there be a massive catastrophe happened to the blue marble, at least all known lifeform's are preserved. for future's sake.
"If there were a catastrophic collision on Earth or a nuclear war you could place some samples of Earth's biosphere, including humans, [on the Moon]," he said.
"You could repopulate the Earth afterwards like a Noah's Ark," he said.
fingers and toes crossed, hope the humans bit doesn't include wee islander.
September 08, 2004
September 07, 2004
utter asian stupidity
a fine display of perplexing asian/wee island discrimination towards folk over 30 years of age:
the weekly departmental meeting today saw the research folk regaling us all with their well-researched viewership statistics. it didn't help matters when one of 'em was a young deplorably-behaved cow who presented the data with a condescending tone.
towards the end of the slideshow, pointing out the 35 and above age group, said young deplorably-behaved cow uttered the following no less than five times: "..whereas the old people prefer to watch blahyaddablah..".
methinks my head gaffer took offence as she interrupted said young deplorably-behaved cow, "are those 35 years and above *old*?"
"oh sorry sorry, er, who else is 35 and above? i think there are two or three here..", that cunt hurriedly "apologised".
i swear i was wanting to chin, wallop and handbag her there and then. for her appalling lack of manners.
September 06, 2004
talk of the toon
reet. so Graeme Souness is the new magpies gaffer, after much speculation over the past week. and football365 put up this rather hilarious piccie gallery of an expected comedy on the toon touchline.
although they ain't my footy team, i have sort of an affection towards 'em since their last visit to the islet in july 1996. made my way to the stadium to wait for their arrival, to witness my first ever premiership club visit.
and there i was in my manyoooo jersey. that caused utter agony to a certain Kevin Keegan.
and if only i was a few hours earlier whilst in newcastle upon tyne later that year. i could have been on a tour of st james park. when i arrived at the ticketing booth looking forward to a massive piccie-snapping opportunity, only to be told: ".. we have just finished the tour..".
ack!
"so when's the next?" i asked. "next week," came the reply. for some strange reason, i was crestfallen. "but..but i would be back home by then!" i exclaimed to nobody in particular.
"never mind, i'll have a look see of the stadium outside," i continued, sniffin'. and a piccie of it graced a wall in my room.
utter incompetence
lately there have been a number of scheduled programmes being cancelled or postponed to another day. and then rounds of phone calls and walkabouts made to notify other departments affected.
and the cause of it all? rights issue. yeah, so what have those acquisitions "executives" been doing all this while?
surely not skiving?
eh?!
a Mike Clark received an email from Nessie. lucky git.
wooot
i'm gonna be a somewhat semi-telly addict come thursdays, especially on 16 and 17 september. the hallmark channel are telecasting:
1. the two-parter gunpowder, treason and plot
2. frankenstein
it's quite rather coincidental that the main actors of both programmes are glaswegian.
head crammin'
it arrived by post on the weekend after having flown from the other side of the blue marble. read a few pages and i must say it's insightful, on the workings of the Tony Blair cabinet; leading up to events when Blair decided to send thousand's of troops to their deaths. ie: that war in iraq.
not a dry read though as Robin Cook displayed some real fine humour and wit, despite the subject. further reviews here.
September 03, 2004
*mad world
the week summed up in point form:
1. Sir Clive resigned as coach of rugby -> see Giles' rant
2. the all new shrek and donkey partnership -> see piccy evidence below, of which said piccy is nicked off football365
3. two more wee islanders took their own lives - or probably not.. - by acccidental falling onto the path of incoming train's -> that's the new alternative to commit hara kiri, apart from jumping off high-rise flat's
4. the letter b is now an entrepreneur -> something that i'm gonna get used to, ie: calling meself that
5. both Giles and aussie Simon celebrated the birth of their sprog's together with some top HK blogger's -> and i'm gonna have a two for 'em both later
erm, yeah that's about all for this week, folk's.
*yep, totally unoriginal title that. nicked off tears for fears' 1981 hit of same name.
rare gem
i was terribly surprised that one of four b-grade terrestial channels - the broadcasting arm of the daily rag, crikey indeed - has actually telecasted this brilliant decent series for a month already.
at least there's something to look forward to on a thursday evening.
it's that time of the month..
..to get plastered in the company of canuck's.
yep, not only it's the pub night this evening, an email floated into the inbox from *l'association canadienne de petit-île informing us all about meeting the new prez. whose name's deleted to protect the letter b's real identity:
..First on the agenda is Pub Night......our September Pub Night is quickly approaching (this coming Friday September 3rd at 7pm to be exact) and our new President, [an ethnic chinese canuck] , will be at Ballymoon's to greet and meet any members who....well, just want to be greeted and met by him. So, if you're curious about who our new leader is or if you just plain want to have a beer with some Canadians, then head on down...
reet. so those who hardly - or never whatsover - turned up for pub night may do so today. and then i'll be asked if i'm a member because:
1. i once studied there
2. i have a canuck boyfriend
does either of the above have to be the *only* reasons? be more original, people.
*translation: the wee islet canuck association
spam twat
a miserable sad twat who needs to be castrated that goes by the fake email addy of bob@y1507o.com; IP Address 24.31.217.232
this is the fourth time this fucked-up lowlife parasitic scum left nonsensical comments and fake website addy's on this blog - as well as originating from a variety of other IP addy's - beseeching me to visit 'em. the most ridiculous bit is he blahed on archived postings so that the rest of you's couldn't see 'em.
hey Bob or whatever yer effin' name is, either you have a poor eyesight or you don't understand simple english when i had announced the following on the comment box:
to those who come 'ere via google or summat: posting of completely unrelated bollocks from yer goodself will result in a public name and shame on this blog. or a spam from me. there's no point in entering fake email addy's either.
comprende? but of course probably yer yank from the deepest boondocks; or wee islander that's why you don't know what "bollocks" means. one more comment from you i swear i'll hunt you down.
------------------------------
UPDATE: this Bob scum apparently subscribes to RoadRunner. and is a US southerner. you've been warned, Bob.
Traceroute to 24.31.217.232 ():
1 66.0.192.246 (66.0.192.246) 8.863 ms 22.185 ms 0.247 ms
2 66.0.192.250 (66.0.192.250) 0.230 ms 0.232 ms 0.203 ms
3 suwC5.gig3-1-4.edeltacom.com (216.154.207.121) 0.309 ms 0.248 ms 0.235 ms
4 suw04.gig1-1-0.edeltacom.com (216.154.207.62) 0.403 ms 0.351 ms 11.686 ms
5 border6.p4-1.itc-3.acs.pnap.net (64.94.6.77) 17.691 ms 60.730 ms 1.324 ms
6 core3.ge0-0-bbnet1.acs.pnap.net (64.94.0.3) 1.217 ms 1.183 ms 1.118 ms
7 208.172.70.141 (208.172.70.141) 2.128 ms 10.874 ms 1.782 ms
8 agr3-loopback.Atlanta.savvis.net (208.172.66.103) 6.439 ms 6.373 ms 6.241 ms
9 dcr1-as0-0.Atlanta.savvis.net (208.172.67.49) 6.237 ms 11.034 ms 6.683 ms
10 bpr1-so-0-0-0.AtlantaPaix.savvis.net (208.172.75.110) 6.725 ms 6.405 ms 6.466 ms
11 pop1-atm-P4-2.atdn.net (66.185.150.13) 2.123 ms 1.835 ms 1.720 ms
12 bb2-atm-P4-0.atdn.net (66.185.150.2) 1.937 ms 1.655 ms 1.623 ms
13 bb2-cha-P6-0.atdn.net (66.185.152.31) 129.959 ms 199.869 ms 224.688 ms
14 pop1-cha-P1-0.atdn.net (66.185.138.67) 6.850 ms 6.779 ms 6.823 ms
15 RR-Charlotte.atdn.net (66.185.132.46) 6.928 ms 13.084 ms 8.418 ms
16 pos8-0.chrlncsa-rtr2.carolina.rr.com (24.93.64.62) 7.090 ms 7.030 ms 7.257 ms
17 pos0-0.clmascmhe-rtr2.sc.rr.com (24.93.64.2) 9.750 ms 9.320 ms 9.523 ms
18 srp1-1.clmascand-rtr1.sc.rr.com (24.31.193.143) 15.138 ms 15.247 ms 15.594 ms
19 gig0-1.clmascand-ubr1.sc.rr.com (24.31.192.90) 13.780 ms 14.402 ms 13.892 ms
20 * * *
September 02, 2004
up for a skive
apols for not blahing today. decided to skive from work by going on a sick leave. stepped in to the workplace, a sudden attack of the woozies; and then of all things i royally cocked-up today's telly schedule.
a rather obvious sign that the job doesn't love me anymore.
come to think of it, i am blahing now, am i not? duh.
September 01, 2004
cessation
from this day forthwith, there will be no mention whatsoever of both the irish chappie and the english lawyer.
how come?
1. the irish chappie has just embarked on an affair with one of his client "servicing" scumslag charges
2. the english lawyer has just taken a fancy on the gaffer's woolly-brained vocab-challenged giggly 23-yr-old mistress
it's not about the competition; rather these twits' shocking questionnable tastes that leaves me utterly gobsmacked.
lost in translation
sample the following conversation that just took place with a complete spastic of a cow-orker. in english:
the letter b: i would appreciate it if you could give me a ring as and when there are schedule changes
spastic: er, so you still want me to call you, is it?
the letter b, who's about to gnash her canines: i would like you to call me if you are making the changes. so are you clear about this?
spastic: er.. yes
methinks she didn't understand the term "give me a ring". tsk tsk.
may the force be with 'em
a school on the ways of the jedi has opened in Romania. and it's not all about the philosophy, as cooking classes will be conducted also:
... like cooking some of the dishes seen in the Star Wars films including Wookiee Cookies, Princess Leia Danish donughts, Sand Trooper sandwiches and Twin Sun toasts...
and i'm already having ideas of opening a branch right here on the wee isle.
maternal instinct?
i don't quite get it why 'em wee island females ought to make all those irritating cooing and ahhing noises at babies. is it purely maternal instinct? or are they simply putting on an evil act to entice blokes into believing they are of maternal material?
it's not that i don't possess any but i must say that 'em anklebiter's know very well if these females are faking it. and they'd show it by:
1. completely ignoring 'em
2. yelling their lung's out
and please, spare a thought for the letter b who has nilch tolerance to put up with the pukeworthy fakery. she wants to enjoy her pint quietly.
current state
this is the exact state letter b is in at time of writing.
mental image of the day
so the shrek wayne rooney has morphed/transformed from a toffee to a devil.
anyhooo, i'm relishing the new partnership of the roonster and alan smith. but only time will tell if they could be the next potent strike terror of the season.