my innermost sanctum

what irony

right.

so owner's of chinese and indian takeaways are makin a massive hoo-ha about the latest directive - ie: hire eastern european's or a takeover by kebab shop's.

their claim that outsider's - ie: eastern europeans - would make the nosh less authentic is at best laughable. it's the fear of letting outsider's know their closely-guarded recipes, more like it. not to mention, general distrust of anyone outside their race.

also, i can vouch that the ever-popular so-called wee island fried rice, wee island fried vermicelli and summat are anythin but. they are not even close to an imitation. honest. and i was rightly warned by a mate to avoid "chink" nosh shortly before i made the trip to the UK. precisely because they were anythin but. only for my arrival at windermere coincided with the closin of shutters at half 5. sharpish.

wot to do? so here i was [reluctantly] walkin to the only takeaway. that was just around the corner from the b&b i put up at. upon my entrance, the bird takin down the orders was mighty surprised to see me - didn't quite expect to see another "chink" in windermere, i guess.

anyhoo, i decided to show off with whatever [minimal] cantonese i could muster to place my order. and i found meself bamboozled as i hardly spoke the dialect whilst back home. and then i had to ask whereabouts the chef's were from. hong kong, came the reply.

ah. right. but of course. and before the alarm bell's could even ring, said bird ask me if i was malaysian. heh. she went silent when i [reluctantly] replied i was from the wee islet. probably because she didn't quite expect a wee islander speakin her language. and that it's the lingua franca amongst malaysian chink's also.

so when i finally settled down to chomp back at the b&b, i was greeted by the sorry sight of a pseudo wee island fried rice. wee island indeed. but then since the cook's emselves were hongkies, surely they couldn't reproduce the authentic whatsoever innit.

apart from the use of substitute ingredient's. and same goes for the curries which an acquaintace recounted spat out right in front of the waiter. he was indignant that they insisted he was served "authentic" indian curry. only for him to rebutt, "who yer kiddin mate, i know if it's a curry or otherwise. btw i'm indian [by way of adoption] too.".

likewise, the fish and chip's over ere are anythin but. innit.

btw, am i the only one thinkin that the UK would be completely overrun by eastern european's soonest?

bloody EU.