May 31, 2005
caught spyin
a hk-based journo for the wee island daily rag [soz, linking is only possible for paid online subscriptions] was detained by the peopre's lepubrik authorities for, get this, spyin.
no details were forthcomin about who he was spyin for. the odd bit is this wasn't even mentioned on today's said rag whatsoever. sounds rather fishy, innit?
well, given that said rag is run by the wee island government, who fill the top senior posts with *lifeform's who are not even journo's, does this make a scandalous story? i think not.
* this bit was nicked without permission:
... the wee island daily rag has no competition on the wee isle. It's owned wholly by a company called the wee island press conglomerate, whose stock is sold publicly but whose affairs are closely monitored by the government of Prime Minister name deleted to erm, protect the letter b, son of the wee isle's founding father, former prime minister name deleted to erm, protect the letter b.
The paper is run by editors with virtually no background in journalism. For example, my direct editor was Ms name deleted to erm, protect the letter b, a woman in her mid 30s. She was an intelligence officer. Other key editors are drawn from the wee isle's bureaucracies and state security services. They all retain connections to the state's intelligence services, which track everyone and everything...
so now you's know why i called it the daily rag? besides, the trackin of wee islanders' movements is done via the ID card thingy.
talk of which...
continuin this erm, no-brainer topic, the word homo mongoloidis springs to mind. the root word bein mong. as opposed to mongoloid.
wiltworthy
temperatures reached an all-time high of 33 degrees celcius or thereabouts at noon time today - and yesterday as well - that wee islander's wilt under the heat.
in other words, 99.8% of em wee islander's are a pretty useless bunch of *homo idioticus / wankeriens / cuntitwattis.
how come? they are also pretty much defective durin the monsoon season.
* ta to miles who blahed about this.
May 28, 2005
*soccer* accordin to some clueless yank
we all know how some of their policy makers tried to force down our throat's their unique ::titter:: brand of democracy.
and now, some ESPN twat of a commentator tried to inform the blue marble that footy, soz, soccer doesn't allow goalkeeper's - soz, goaltenders - to, erm, jump up and down:
Mediawatch is told by its foreign readers that we could fill a whole column with beauties from Tommy Smyth's ESPN commentary. But we will limit ourselves to just this comment as Jerzy Dudek bounced on his line for the shoot-out: "That's against the rules, he's only allowed to go vertical and he's jumping up and down!"
against what, soz, whose rules, Mr Smyth?
listened
i may just buy their album when it's released next month. i'm well impressed by the tunes that i'd downloaded. but not sure how the rest of the album fare.
anyhoo, the lead warbler certainly sounds less nasal. and looks less gaunt. than the last time i saw him. which was back in 1996.
incidentally whilst in manchester right after the trip to the cliff and then a tour of the old trafford museum. later that evenin, i watched the telly in my digs at this b&b pub when their former outfit came on warblin this particular tune.
which never fails to put a smile on me face. and which was quite rather apt, given the sight of the parked cars that belonged to em player's.
yet another fine display of hypocrisy
this time from the philippines - a well-known source of mail-order brides, domestic helper's, nurses for the NHS, and of course solicitin whores whenever the US navy are in town.
soz, the link to the freebie rag is pathetically unlinkable, hence the cut and paste job. which is of course done without permission:
Philippines: Dutch operators of porn website shot dead
MANILA — Members of a special task force of Philippine President Gloria Arroyo have shot dead two Dutch brothers who allegedly operated a cybersex website in Manila.
The team from the Presidential Anti-Illegal Recruitment Task Force, personally led by Ms Arroyo appointee Reynaldo Jaylo, gunned down Hendrikus Erik Engelenburg and his brother Willen Cornelis late Wednesday in a raid on their offices in a suburb of the capital.
The two were killed when they opened fire on the raiders, members of the task force said.
The brothers had operated the website www.xxx.chat.com from their two-storey home in suburban Quezon city, north of Manila, and had been under surveillance by the task force for weeks, they said.
"It just so happened that the owner of the sex den fought it out with the task force," Mr Willy Quibael, assistant administrator of the task force, told AFP.
The head of the police in the area, Chief Superintendent Nicasio Radovan, said an investigation was underway into the shootings for any "irregularities".
The Dutch embassy confirmed the deaths of the brothers but declined to make any further comment. — AFP
see, it's really ok for their own birds to make a right nuisance of themselves in other countries. which include bonking and then stealin other birds' boyfriend's or husband's. regardless if they themselves are married with bairns back home.
May 26, 2005
not again
just days ago i was venting my spleen about some amoebic lowlife's googlin for this bollocks. guess wot? another sad loser of a twattin amoebic cunt just came a-lookin for:
letter to my ex-husband
how low can said sad loser of a twattin amoebic cunt stoop? or probably said sad loser of a twattin amoebic cunt was so fuckin bored out of her/his/its mind [yeah, as if they have got one in the first place] that she/he/it had to go a-lookin for such mindless tosh.
and what did i say about banning such sad loser of twattin amoebic cunt's from access to the interweb? instead of contributing to the betterment of cyberspace, they only pollute it.
like as if their polluting the blue marble itself ain't enough to make the rest of us - yes, you's and i - suffer.
really, it's an utter crime against humanity to allow such sad loser of twattin amoebic cunt's to get this far in life. never mind breed. even callin 'em amoebae is an insult to that single-celled organism. which i wager is many many many ::ad infinitum:: times more intelligent. like you's and i.
and yes, i'm ventin my spleen at this time of writing. yet again.
quizzed
stolen without permission off coffdrop's. hmm, the result may influence me into starting my own religious order. without the "organised" bit. somethin that looks at religious practices with a *logical* point of view. but member's are of course free to worship in any way they like.
 | You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational.
What is Your World View? (updated) created with QuizFarm.com |
May 24, 2005
in a galaxy, far, far away...
.. a planet is found. by a pair of amateur kiwi astronomer's usin home-made telescopes. but they were also collaborating with an international team of boffin's. who hired them to help find it.
the shame.
yeah i know, the subject title is utterly original.
:p
this would surely put me off using "beauty" products, sample the following headlines:
Leeches used in wide range of cosmetic products
and in what way are they useful? their saliva :: eww :: is extracted as an ingredient in a range of products promotin micro-blood circulation. like makin the area around yer blinkers less wrinkly.
reet. time to toss those eye cream thingy out.
spotted
on a bottle of blueberry-flavoured tea, obviously made on the wee isle:
REAL BREWED WITH TEA LEAVES...... BLUEBERRY FLAVOUR ADDED
this is wee island pidgin at its most embarrasin finest. especially so when this particular brand of drinks is exported blue marble-wide.
b_mc.t's sparklin' gem
the diff between a colleague and a cow-orker is that *HUGE* gulf of intelligence that divides 'em.
really, the latter are but a mighty waste of space.
copyrighted stuff, geddit? © breanagh mctavish 2003, 2005
May 23, 2005
holiday
as it's a public hols today here on the wee isle - yesterday being vesak day - the letter b's greycells decided to take a hol also.
fret not luv's, just keep yer eyes peeled. i may come up with somethin utterly brilliant. soon.
May 21, 2005
ah!
now, this is one fine business idea that i could consider:
finding lost youngling's with the help of trained canines.
after all, ain't dog's bairn-friendly?
that's enough, damn it
so what if this mingin cow has it? there are alot more out there who are sufferin the same malady. without a fuckin single publicity.
anyways, what has said mingin cow done for the betterment of humankind? at her age she ought to reconsider retirement. 'cos it's not only effin ridiculous but embarrassing as well to see someone like her prancin about onstage in the skimpiest of clothes.
and what fuckin talent has she got? apart from makin misled bloke's obsessin the impossible?
May 20, 2005
insult?
yet another fine display of thai hypocrisy. the sight of partially-clothed foreign bird's being photographed with a temple as the backdrop offended em natives' sensibilities.
but it's really ok for their own bird's to go abroad and then causin massive social problem's.
googled
a pair of perplexing searches that led to this fine blog:
i want my ex-husband back
such nuisance mong's - both em googler's and those who desperately wanted their ex-hubby's back - shouldn't be allowed access to the internet. much less breed.
May 18, 2005
doh!
in view of the blue marble-wide opening of this long-awaited film tomorrow, here's one marvellous site of some of those memorable/legendary/duh?worthy quotes.
apologies...
...for the rather sporadic/rubbish/lack of quality blah's lately, luv's. there are reason's aplenty as to how come, of which laziness is certainly one of em. not.
well, as some of you's would have already known, i've had started my cross-cultural business full-time sometime ago. erm, in late january/early february - whichever's earlier. though it was registered last september, i continued workin at that madhouse of a workplace. until the biz stabilised. or so i naively planned.
but alas, it was not to be as the bollocks at that madhouse of a workplace got completely out of hand. that it affected my concentration on the biz.
so now you's know how come there ain't anymore whingeins/bitchins/moaning's about the supreme idiot of a gaffer and the equally twattish cow-orker's. eh? my apologies also for not broadcastin about my leavin that madhouse of a workplace as i had to quickly get the biz going. which has been ok. so far.
apart from writing me own articles and papers for the customers, i'm currently attempting a subject which 'em competitor's haven't talked about yet - cultural intelligence. or CQ for short. and materials on this topic is quite rather hard to come by. especially online as it's a relatively new area of study.
so now you's know how come the quality of this blog has been suffered quite a bit lately. eh? regardless, i'm me own gaffer. and am responsible for me own income. apart from me ownself.
woohoo? yeah, sort of. all the same, best wishes of all form's are welcomed to boost me morale. especially the attempt on writing the CQ bit.
ta muchly, folks. so in the meanwhile, do keep yer eyes peeled. i may come up with somethin utterly brilliant. as per the usual.
May 16, 2005
may the force be with moi
to think i've had been an obsessive for many many many :: ad infinitum :: moon's. i got 9 out of 14 right. no, actually i was careless with a couple of question's ie: me finger's were engaged before brain. yeah, excuses excuses.
anyhoo, here's the comment i gotten:
the last time i checked, i was sure my last name isn't skywalker.
May 15, 2005
their finest hour
finally own the *dvd of this fine film that depicts the finest hour. and if yer a fan of those splendid warplanes that were involved in the battle, go to these sites to download some piccies.
indeed, it's one of those film's you won't get tired of watchin.
*ta to me bro who bought it for me.
May 13, 2005
gah!!
reet. it's friday the 13th today.
:: a sharp intake of breath ::
gah!
so that yank geezer has finally laid his grubby mitts on my beloved manyoooo eh? no thanks of course to the pair of two-faced irish wanker's who sold said geezer their shares.
that's it. manyooo will become MUSC. and we all thought rupert murdoch and his sky sport networks were bad enough for the english premiership.
like i had grumbled before, i may re-consider switchin allegiance to arsenal - yeah, yeah, cries of "ye, bandwagon twat", i'll hear. or suffer 101% and infinitely with liverpool. or cross the pennines to pledge my erm, utmost loyalty to middlesbrough. or totally abandon footy altogether. for good.
decisions, decisions.
May 12, 2005
a sci-fi 'mare come true?
this piece of news is quite rather unsettling: self-replicatin robot's.
... Each 10 centimetre cube contains a microprocessor, and they are all equipped with an identical set of instructions that tell the block how to connect and swivel, depending on the way it is linked to other blocks. The instructions are designed to make the blocks work together to self-replicate...
reet. and the boffin responsible for this so-called groundbreakin invention claimed that these little self-thinkin thingies are, in his words, easy to control.
in other words, he's not fretting about the possibility of them takin control over the blue marble some day. given the rapid regression of the human race, back to the pre-neantherdal ape-like mental and behavioural states, as we are witnessin at the moment.
so which is a more harrowin scenario?
a. human's completely wiped out
b. self-replicating intelligent machine's subjectin humans to a brutal existence
or have i been readin too much sci-fi such as this?
"world-class" wee island
it is a habit on this islet to make loud announcements such as this to inform its native's on the inroads it makes on the international stage.
this time round, its middle eastern types comin ere seekin medical care.
"About 50-60 percent of our foreign patients come from the Middle East...we are seeing patients from the UAE, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Oman, Qatar, Kuwait, Bahrain."
reet. so there is a distinct possibility of camel sightin's road signs in arabic coming up in and around town.
May 10, 2005
the wee isle's future
sample the followin hogwash, off an advert for a wee island university:
"... guess what! before university, i did not know what i could achieve in life. but
*this former chink-language and then technological university knew better...."
and then this same mong went on to say how he was given the opportunity to travel overseas. and honed his "leadership" skills.
sounds as if not only he had a deprived childhood, but a wasted one as well.
*name of university not revealed as the letter b doesn't welcome googlin twits who may make a nuisance of emselves
May 09, 2005
lost in translation?
whilst doin a customer research, i spotted this glarin error. emphasis mine:
..Bosch has been present in the wee isle for over 30 years, since 1958...
is it a simple case of translation gone awry? or that the webmeister didn't verify before publishin it? or that there was some miscount?
whatever it is, tsk tsk.
May 07, 2005
blast from the blah
just downloaded this brilliant tune by Queen. i meant the freddie mercury queen.
if only i could play the drum's like roger taylor. i'd be adored by legions of em young fella's, i tell ye.
blast from the past
yesterday's canuck-expat rock band at the local warbled:
1. the proclaimers' 500 miles in an appallin scottish brogue which yers truly could do much much much better. honest
2. a tune which i hadn't heard for a L-O-N-G time: 8675309 Jenny
a quick look at google revealed #2 as a 1981 hit. good lordy. that is indeed a pretty L-O-N-G time.
that may explain why i couldn't exactly recall when i first heard it. and it didn't help matters that this band were a one-hit wonder.
should he be sued?
as [eagle-eyed] regular reader's may notice, i regularly use the term youngling's to describe, erm, youngling's.
and to my utter surprise/dismay/woteveryoumaycalledit, i found the followin bit from this upcoming film. see emphasis:
... In one scene, Jedi children - "younglings" - are massacred in the temple by Anakin Skywalker (Christensen), who has turned to the Dark Side...
so should i write to the esteemed George wotsit that he ought to give credit where credit's due? and if he refuses, i'd pay him a visit, dressed in this manner:
wanted
this poor moggy's head is wanted by the chilean government. simply because she was infected with rabies.
...Chile's Supreme Court unanimously upheld a ruling by a lower court ordering Luz's execution because of the risk of infection to humans.
Officials believe that Luz may have been infected during a fight with a bat that was found dead at the home of her owner, Amada Salinas...
lookin at the bright side, just imagine how many human's will be removed from the gene pool. includin said chilean court's.
hurrah.
May 05, 2005
today's lesson
how to speak like a manc:
listen and warble along - if possible - to any band's from manchester. like:
1. oasis
2. inspiral carpet's
3. the stone roses
4. dove's
5. new order
6. erm, you's get the drift
havin the lyrics of that particular tune on hand will ensure you'll affect the twang more effectively. though the letter b strongly discourages lip readin an interviewed manyoooo footballer on the telly.
'cos most of 'em ain't manc's to begin with.
May 04, 2005
found
a gem of a wee island satire that is up there together with the brains trust - it no longer exists, sniff... - and the onion. sample the followin:
The Kentang is a Singapore based blog talking about Singaporean stuff, and of course, potatoes. Bananas may also be mentioned. Chickens, less likely, but if you like Singaporean Cock, there's always [Talkingcock.com]
believe me, the blog is brilliant.
nb:
1. kentang is malay for potato. which is also a reference to wee islander's who acquired western accent's after a studies or work stint overseas. potato's are assumed staple of the west hence the term. methinks this assumption is based on the 19th/early 20th century irish missionaries.
2. banana is a degoratory term for native's of chinese ancestry [yellow] who reject their own race by "apeing" westerner's [white]. but the joke is now on em lowest of the lowest common denominator's whose female sprog's sole ambition is to trick white loser's into marriage.
3. chicken is a degoratory cantonese [southern chinese dialect] term for whores.
4. talkin cock is a wee island equivalent of utterin a load of tosh.
superhero-ine
nicked from the coffdrop.
Your Superhero Identity For Today Is:
Name: Red Sister
Secret Identity: breanagh mctavish
Special Power: Lightning Chopsticks
Transportation: Turbo Rocket
Weapon: Electron Whip
Costume: Kevlar Nightgown
Sidekick: Bones
Nemesis: Jack the Yodeller
Tragic Flaw: Addicted to garlic
Favorite Food: Melon
is this a joke? Red Sister? that sounds rather commie and very peopre's lepubrik. and Lightning Chopsticks?? no matter, that'll learn me for winding 'em mainland chink's up.
oh and moi in a *nightgown*??? good golly. i can't imagine meself in a gown. regardless a nightie or otherwise. the last thing i'd want is to look like a right twat. in a frock, that is.
anyhoo, go find yer inner superhero.
May 03, 2005
gone native
and i thought only the welsh had lost the plot. the irish are walkin down that path also.
Hundreds of tourists visiting Gaelic-speaking areas of Ireland are getting lost since the government introduced a law that all road signs must be in the local language...
so that means i should either start learnin gaelic; or completely abandon the idea of visitin the country.
... But it is worrying the tourist industry, which is already suffering from inflated euro prices and a drop in American visitors.
During a visit to the beautiful Connemara region in west Galway, or Gaillimh, The Telegraph found two people carriers full of Parisians who were stopping repeatedly to try to decipher the signs.
After half an hour they pulled over with much shrugging near the village of Gortmore....
which reminds me of some newspaper report's many many many ::ad infinitum:: moon's ago about 'em holidayin twat's from japan and the peopre's lepubrik of china whingein about the lack of sign's in their native tongues in and around the wee islet.
how galling.
on the other hand, a shedload of holidaying english-speakin twat's do whine about native's not speakin the former's tongue, innit?
but it would be ideal though if there is a phaser universal translator of some sort available; so that both holidayin twats and charmin hillbilly native's could fry the brain's off communicate with one another seamlessly.
May 02, 2005
a farewell
to my favouritest ex-head of state who passed away earlier today.
may he rest in peace.
wee island idiosyncracies
sample the followin - nicked without permission - off some etiquette website; emphasis mine:
Most wee islanders arrive at social events on time or slightly late. According to certain customary beliefs, a visitor who arrives on time for a meal gives the impression of being greedy.
oh really? how about the way they rush for food with their chopsticks the moment dishes are put on the table? that's not bein greedy then? oh and don't make me start about their eatin without closin their massive gob's.
that may also explain why the national campaign on punctuality for chinese weddin dinners is a total failure.
today's toons
nb: substitute choccy with beer of choice.