October 27, 2006

today's toons

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October 25, 2006

natural order of thing's, the

this piccy is further proof that moggies are naturally smarter than dog's.

not that i dislike em mutt's. it's just that they'd do just anything for human's that never fail to make me go, "shame on you, you've no dignity."

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October 24, 2006

flawed logic

the british council are an international joke.

or probably run by a bunch of comedian's.

firstly, they are sending a british-born comic who happens to be muslim and *asian* [this narrow definition riles me greatly - as if ONLY indians and paki's are qualified to be called asian? just like in the US whereby ONLY chink's, japs and other slit eye's are qualified to be asian?] to her motherland/fatherland/ancestral land to convince the muslim's that the UK is a good place to live in.

double-speak: please bring along your entire village with you as immigrant's to this country. you can also abuse our kindness by using the nhs for free. and while we are at it, you can abuse our welfare system also.

secondly, this same comic who happens to be *asian* is given the green light to make joke's. about the burqa. sure, there's nothin wrong with it as other british asian's and british muslims found em funny-ha-ha.

why do i think it's flawed? see the word's "british-born", "comic" and "jokes"?

does anyone seriously think muslim's in india, pakistan, and saudi arabia share exact same sense of humour as brit's? just because some of em happen to understand english? besides, just because the comic happens to be of asian *ethnicity* [someone obviously forgot to add this word] and muslim [asians/paki's=muslim, muslims=asian/paki?], that doesn't mean her kith could completely identify with her.

or qualify her to make jokes about the burqa. period. but that doesn't mean the indians and pakis don't have a single funny bone. or they should lighten up, after all it's just a joke. keep in mind that not everyone sees the world from exact same perspective.

in short, this project is not just flawed, it's a no-brainer. it's pure hogwash.

if yank's and english don't understand each other's humour despite sharing a common tongue [and the U S of A happen to be an english colony once], what more the british-*asian* comic and her kith?

btw, the comic herself may assert her *asian* identity in the UK by reminding one and all that she's proud of her heritage. but to asian's on this side of the planet - includin yers truly - she's *british*. period. she - together with other british *asians* - never actually grew up anywhere in asia. or in south asia / the sub-continent for that matter.

so quit using the tag as some sort of badge, eh *asians* everywhere?

as enscribed by the letter b @ 03:27 PM | yer blah's (0) | someone's pinged

messin with mother nature

i'm rather disturbed

by two particular article's that made up today's news:

1. it's really amazing that there are bint's out there who can't simply cope with their monthly "cycle". which to them [or rather, to their wee mind's] is a mighty inconvenience to their lifestyle, that they whoop with unbridled joy upon hearin news of this miracle poison pill. what is touted by em evil pharmaceutical's unconvincingly as the next best thing after the [original] Pill.

sure, these bird's are perfectly within their right's to live their live's whatever their choices. but at the expense of mother nature?

i'm sure this miracle poison pill is capable of doin much more harm than good to the body. and i don't mean to sound cruel, but i just can't wait to read some strange new incurable diseases that will strike em. without any warnin, say, 10 - 20 year's down the road. and by then, i hope i'd not hear or read about their self-inflicted misery.

or worse, self-pity moaning's ad nauseum.


2. a bunch of idealist's - soz, *ecologist's* - thought it is their duty [or so they'd like us to believe] to "rewild" [whatever that means] the blue marble by recreatin ancient fauna. in order to save this planet from extinction.

i have no issues with their oh-so-noble intention's. but what's disturbin is - and i recall it was mentioned once before - along with the rewilding project, they not only think it's a brilliant idea to ressurect the mammoth. but creating a, get this, "genetic hybrid" of the mammoth and the elephant as well.

so that folk's like you and i could go mammolephant [i know it's a gobful, but you's read this over ere first] hunting in the future. as if i have got nothin better to do.

seriously, such an experiment is not just plain wrong, but morally wrong. if these same *ecologists* ain't playing god, i don't know what is. it also begs the question: what can they think of next? or more specifically, what next evil plan are they capable of? same applies to #1 above.

honestly, i fear for the future of humankind.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 10:47 AM | yer blah's (2) | someone's pinged

October 21, 2006

good grief

we all know fashion designer's these days tend to be out of touch with reality. which partly could be due to their under the influence of drugs.

but to put a wee bairn on the catwalk, whomever the designer ought to be shot right away. together with the sorry excuse of a mother of that bairn.

doesn't take long to figure out how come the number of paedophile's is on the rise in spite of legislations after legislation's. eh? but yeah of course, they are just sick people who need to be put away.

it's totally no fault of the feckless sorry excuse of a mother as she's just extremely proud to show her "beautiful" [i've seen more beautiful ones, honest] bairn off to the blue marble.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 05:30 PM | yer blah's (1) | someone's pinged

bulbed

Q: how many veil-ed bird's does it take to change a bulb04.gif

A: you must be jokin, mate. they can't even find that bleedin spare bulb04.gif in the first place.

no, wait! they'd quote some obscure passage from the koran which says it forbids a pious "decently"-covered holier-than-the-rest-of-us-infidels cow to do such a menial job.


** please note that this is an *original* piece by none other than yers truly, breanagh mc.t. in other words, it's copyrighted.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 09:43 AM | yer blah's (0) | someone's pinged

today's toons

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October 19, 2006

today's toons

as enscribed by the letter b @ 07:11 AM | yer blah's (0) | someone's pinged

October 18, 2006

disgraceful, utterly

what's with young cunt's these days?

especially that homewrecker of a supposedly well-educated young model. we all know what model's [in general, i must quickly add] are like, they have no fucking sense of right and wrong. of course it takes two to tango, and that twat's behaviour is syndromic of filthy rich but ageing wanker's.

who actually possess low - no, non-existent more like, self-esteem. otherwise they won't seek reassurances to prove that they are still attractive to the opposite sex, innit?

oh, and that feckless cow who abandons her bairn for purely selfish reason's? there are bird's out there who seek one fertility treatment after another so that they could have at least a bairn to make their lives more fulfillin. and yet said feckless cow saw it fit to dish out lame excuses - after fightin for the wee lassie's right to exist.

the excuse? such as one of her older bairn's got a mighty fright upon seeing his siblin. or summat. poor laddie, he must have a weak heart or an aversion to anyone who doesn't look normal like he.

i know, i come across as annoyingly self-righteous and judgemental at this time of typing. but then i'm merely exercising my right to *free* speech.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 06:41 PM | yer blah's (4) | someone's pinged

October 15, 2006

for fuck's sake

whilst planning to set up a collaborative partnership

with a german-based internship-job matchmaking - moi providing interview / c.v coaching tips [as if i'm not busy enough with the biz], the gerry in question mentioned the followin on his email, see emphasis:

"...are you actually of chinese ancestory [sic]? then you could also offer that training for student's willin to intern in china..."

intelligently-insulted i am, by that annoyin broad presumption. not that i'm being lumped together with the mighty yellow [jaundiced? hahahaha] race. but rather, the utterly oxymoronic statement.

it's akin to asking a yorkshireman, or someone from the coastal parts of scotland; or even an orcadian or a shetlander - or even an ukrainian or a russki, oh i could go on - to enlighten me on working with em scandi's. just because it so happen that all descended from em ferocious pillaging plunderin viking's.

that's a complete daft request, innit? if not mad?

well, said gerry is not the first to tar me [or each and every ethnic chink wee islander for that matter] with the same "ye chink's think and act alike 'cos you all look the same; so you *cannot* possibly proclaim english as *yer* mother tongue - duh?!" brush. well, with the exception of the lowest of the lowest common peasantry denominators whose grandparent's were indeed from china.

try explainin that a gap of between 100 and some 600 yonk's between me and em chink's from china [and from just anywhere else on this planet] simply means we ain't *culturally* alike. and that our brain's are wired so differently that we don't even understand one another. i can quote an instance whereby some rural folk's from the middle kingdom [note sarcasm] are still totally clueless about sanitation.

and em peopRe's LepubRik types have no qualms about cheating or robbing their *own* kind - in spite of the "us are one happy massive mighty yellow [jaundiced? hahahaha] race so we must stick together" tag. oh and don't get me started about their utter complete lack of common sense and courtesy, ie: jumping queue's, pushing and shoving, spittin in public, nose-pickin in public, etc blah etc. it's not due to their recent commie brainwashing, mind. but rather there ain't any chinese equivalent of the words common, sense and courtesy.

"errr, you slit-eyed chinese people are all the same anyway. thievin bastards/daylight robber's. 'nuff said."

well, whomever the amoebae ought not be pissed if i were to retort with an equally oxymoronic statement:

"yeah, you westerner's all look the same 'cos you's have blond hair and blue eyes, innit? so you all must be of teutonic stock - ie: german, kinda related to hitler - YIKES!".

i mean, i'm merely stating the obvious.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 08:37 AM | yer blah's (0) | someone's pinged

October 12, 2006

good lordy

today's [it's 03:34 hours WIST] friday the 13th.

ack.

soz, that should be read as :S

as enscribed by the letter b @ 07:34 PM | yer blah's (0) | someone's pinged

tough luck?

shouldn't the missus be the one walloped instead? after all, wasn't it she who's the trollop who seduced the doctor?

of course, the twit's to be blamed as well for even suggesting to said trollop to meet new "friends". but it's really lame to justify her affair due to her "loneliness" and "isolation" - there's more to these innit. it's excuseable if she's some young clueless mother - she's 46 years old. old enough to become a granny.

or maybe she already is.

:O


i would somehow empathise if it's her greycells that she's desperately seeking to re-energise. but sadly, she's proof that amoebae like her should not be allowed near a computer.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 07:14 PM | yer blah's (0) | someone's pinged

today's toons

as enscribed by the letter b @ 06:58 PM | yer blah's (0) | someone's pinged

i'm jealous already

i'd absolutely luurrrve to be in that squaddie's place.

lucky git. i'm jealous already.

the nearest experience i had to seeing a fighter plane at [a somewhat] close range was back in - let me recall - 1989 at this airbase over ere on the wee islet. i wasn't supposed to be at the canteen either. seeing a skyhawk taking off and then another landin on the runway was an experience that word's don't justify.

whatsoever.

and said experience included holdin my breath upon seeing that other skyhawk's front wheel lowered, and then touched down onto the runway. phew, smooth landin that. indeed, i was fuckin envious of em pilot's - they ain't flying just any *fighter* plane mind, it's the same type of aircraft that saw action in vietnam.

no matter, i thought i'd died and went to heaven.

i got into the base as a mate fibbed to the guard i was some computer [back then the word IT hadn't come into existence as yet] person [which i was kinda] who wanted to take a peek at their systems. actually i was wanting to borrow the newly-released long-anticipated much-hyped-about but totally-flawed unnecessarily-complex and mighty-useless dbase IV diskette's off him. all six [or was it eight?] of em.

[ah, those good old day's when illegal copyin was erm, rampant over ere. and i miss those "massive" 5.25 inch diskettes lots.]

said mate had offered to pass em to me at my workplace. but i just had to see em plane's.

the thing's one does to get cheap thrill's, eh.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 06:33 PM | yer blah's (2) | someone's pinged

October 09, 2006

today's toons

as enscribed by the letter b @ 09:21 AM | yer blah's (0) | someone's pinged

October 07, 2006

one upmanship?

yet another hoo-ha over the issue of veiled bird's in the UK brought up by a former Foreign Secretary.

the argument made by bird's who chose to veil emselves on their own free will - with absolute non-interference or non-subjugation by their menfolk - bordered on the arrogance. *misplaced* arrogance more like.

cover by all means, but don't shove your warped ideal's down everyone's throat. what really got my goat is their defiantly fundamentalist behaviour coupled with their massive persecution complex.

methinks they are a danger to society, more so than some of their menfolk whose sole objective is to score with 72 virgin's. they may come across as educated, which gives them the [false] "confidence" to assert their right's. but they have no fuckin sense of fair play.

not much of a difference then from non-muslim bird's who think it's perfectly alright to assault our senses by flauntin their minimally-covered trunk's. in the name of women's liberation and such other tripe. which methinks is a rather poor excuse to behave badly.

and these are the same cow's who are allowed to breed. i weep for the future of humankind.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 02:50 PM | yer blah's (0) | someone's pinged

question

if one makes a mistake, could you go on by excusin yerself that it is after all an honest mistake?

if it is a mistake, bloody hell, it is a fuckin *mistake*, innit? i'm not aware that mistake's can be classified as "honest" and "dishonest". but of course, who would admit they make a dishonest mistake?

besides, it's like the spastic or spastic's in question ain't taking any responsibility or ownership of their mistakes. not that anyone's offended me with such bollocks, it's something i came across on an online forum which made me go "DUH?".

about time to spay the entire human race then? talk of which, i can't wait for the possibility of the blue marble facing a situation not too dissimilar from the scenario depicted on this film.

i. just. can't. wait.

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October 05, 2006

today's toons

as enscribed by the letter b @ 08:52 AM | yer blah's (0) | someone's pinged

October 02, 2006

choke. cough. gasp!

soz for the rather lack of entries, folks.

no real excuses, apart from the usual. ie: work and general lethargy when you just can't be arsed to update. even when you've got load's to whinge about.

right. and how the entire wee islet has been covered with smog [yay!] for almost a good couple of month's. it gets worse lately that visibility has been reduced at certain part's of the islet. oh, need i describe the acrid smell of smoke.

well, the indonesian's on that huge isle of sumatra are burnin their jungles down, as per their annual land fertilising ritual. or so they claimed. despite "modern" farmin techniques introduced. either they are some of the daftest of the species around, or they are doin it on purpose.

coupled with the wind directions, the wee islet got blanketed as well. and then the native's suffer as a consequence. 1998 was certainly the worst that national emergency was almost declared. but this time round, i've got a rather strong suspicion that em indonesian's are doin so to "avenge" on the totally unnecessary insult made by the islet's most senior power-mad statesman [who's been afflicted by senility].

i shan't bore you's at length what the insult was all about. to summarise, he accused both malaysia and indonesia of marginalising [whatever that means] their ethnic chink minorities. it's not only highly hypocritical on his part who hates muchly on the western press meddlesome interfering's of the islet's internal affairs.

classic case of pot and kettle.

but also, his and his own son's ill treatment of their very own people by *indiscriminately* allowing all sorts of johnny foreigner's takin job's away. just because said johnny foreigners happen to offer dirt-cheap labour. not too dissimilar from what the UK are going through right now innit?

and i shan't bore you's all yet again on the systematic prejudices against the malay's who are the rightful native's of this islet. for instance, the preferred hirin of [broken] mandarin-speakin l-and-r-mixed-up not-more-than-2-syllables ethnic chink's for jobs. and the off limits to certain armed forces unit's for fear of their siding with their muslim brethren in times of ideological war.

oh, and need i go on about lots more [read: china, vietnam] foreign whore's plying their trade all over the islet. on student visas to study english. and they are competing with the existing thai and indonesian hardcore whore's-on-2-weeks'-visitor-pass, filipino maid's, russian blondes, mongolian's, and other third world types. as well as wee island lowest common "university-educated executive" and student-whore denominators who sleep around for a free - even those who are married with bairns. what's utterly hypocritical, the latter are some of the ameobae who proudly claim that [ethnic] chink's never indulge in such face-losing behaviour.

oh, and how about more and more nigerian/kenyan/other african troublemaking scammer's who come ere as pretend footballer's. who go around pickin desperate cheap [mostly] malay bird's at tube stations.

i wonder if the current rapid descent into hell has somethin to do with the name of the wee islet - see the first 3 letters off the name? no, i'm not referin to the "wee" bit.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 09:50 AM | yer blah's (2) | someone's pinged

today's toons

as enscribed by the letter b @ 09:44 AM | yer blah's (0) | someone's pinged

larf's

ta to the blue tea. enjoy.

A young man walks onto the stage of Stars in their Eyes, on crutches, with a plaster cast from his feet to his hips.

Matthew Kelly Introduces him as Simon. 'It's very brave of you to come out here,' says Matthew. 'Please tell the audience what happened?'

'Well,' replies Simon 'about a year ago, I was driving with my uncle when we had a really bad accident. Unfortunately my uncle was killed outright but I survived. I was trapped in the car for six hours before I was eventually cut free.' 'The doctors had me in surgery for 12 hours but they couldn't save my legs.'

'That's terrible. But I see you have legs now. Are they artificial?' asks Matthew.

'No Matthew, while I was in hospital the doctors informed me that my uncle had in fact died, but that his legs were fine and with all the advances in medical science, they could graft the bottom half of his body onto mine. As you can see the operation was successful. I have been having physiotherapy for six months and hope to be walking fully again by the end of the year.'

A huge round of applause erupts from the audience.

Kelly responds with: 'That's an unbelievable story. So tonight, who are you going to be?'

'Tonight, Matthew, I am going to be Simon and Halfuncle'


I'll get me coat.

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