my innermost sanctum

let's shed some tear's, please

not.

am i the only one who gets really fed up of hearing the never-ending bollocks on helping em poor starving and dyin african's?

what happen to all the millions and trillion's of dosh that have had been filtered into that cursed continent over the moons? lining the pockets of em corrupt dictatorships/government's - or whatever that remotely resembles one - innit?

oh, and how about food and medicine? and why should the west and other supposedly rich countries elsewhere be obligated to help em poor sod's? and why should the former colonial government's be blamed for their cursed wretched plight?

sure, some of em did exploit and ill-treat the natives - the belgian's certainly come to mind. but just take a look at recent event's in sudan. and some other god-forsaken place where female UN volunteers were horrendously raped.

so should their colonial legacies be conveniently used as an excuse for their bad behaviour?

coming from a continent where the native's are known to fuck around indiscriminately [i apologise if i tar each and every one of em as such], does anyone seriously expect me to sympathise with em? especially those who are infected with aids?

is it of any wonder why their ancestor's were enslaved by the white man? were they that naive and gullible? when tribes were known to fight one another or even colluded with the slave buyer's? really, their present-day descendants' victim complex is at best, larfable. ooh, am i not suppose to broach on this touchy subject?

oh and don't get me started on em scamming nigerian's. some of whom are also troublemakers over ere on this wee islet. assuming it is totally akin to their lawless country where they could just grab somebody else's "territory". bastards. oh, some of em are ere on a footy club "contract".

really, anyone in the west or elsewhere whose heart's just bleed at the mere sight of em starvin african bairn's are idiot's. that's one tactic to overwhelm us all with guilt and then part our hard-earned dosh.

sheesh, just venting about em can make me blood boil. already.

today's toons

but of course

lookin at this minger,

it's understandable why she's *advising* bird's to not spare any effort to look fabtastic.

oh i needn't go on about that totally fake smile. [honestly, if any younger bloke's thinking of bonkin her, he must be blind. or trolleyed. or completely spaced out - reference her *gawping* at some younger bloke.]

but then, i can't bear to step out of the house - for work, that is - without any warpaint on. i first started using eyeliner only when i wore contact lenses. so that i didn't appear puffy-eyed. then lipstick at 23 or 24. and then proceed to full warpaint ensemble when i worked in recruitment at 29.

albeit reluctantly. however, the key is looking presentable and professional. especially so when you are representing the "image" of yer firm. it was only about a year after joining my last workplace [in 2000], that i slipped into the regular staple of jeans, t-shirt and sweater.

partly 'cos my job scope didn't include meetin people from outside the company. and partly due to working almost-regular overtime, early mornin rushing's to work and attending thrice-weekly university evening classes.

but i stopped in time from turning out totally scruffy like the rest - hallelujah. some of whom turning up for work in flip-flop's, shorts and unkempt hair. that's the broadcasting production industry for ye.

but i digress. well honestly, if any fella thinks us birds ought to put on the warpaint - or even dressed up to the nines - for *their* sake, they can very well go fly a kite.

i'll do it for my sake. and *mine* alone.

the best bird wins

but then, curious mind wonders if the votes were fixed after all.

erm, not really. it could be the entire UK indian and paki - soz, *asian* - community that influenced the result. oh yes, "blood" is thicker than water to these folk's.

but of course, there were white's who did vote her also. duh.

today's toons - another one

today's toons

curiosity trapped the cat

but then the moggy clearly demonstrated a far superior intelligence that apparently escaped certain specimen's of the human race.

ok, so i did larf at that poor mog's predicament. horrible, moi.

the plot thickens...

something's definitely fishy goin on.

honestly, if "that Indian" [go on, sue me for being racist] is as famous and popular back where she comes from, why would she subject herself to humiliation after humiliation?

as if she's not aware that the series is so lowbrow. and how come her bollywood colleague's didn't come around to support or denounce the shoddy treatment? apart from meddling politician's and protesting "fans" - who conveniently happened to be men?

[but of course, she's gorgeous, surely it'd be em bloke's who'd protest - eh wot?]

regardless whereabouts in asia these "famous" people are from, their popularity downslides once they hit their late 20's or the third decade. so they'd do anythin to keep emselves in the spotlight.

especially so for b-lister's like "that Indian" [go on, sue me for being racist] that explains her making the move to the west. especially the UK where there is a market for thing's bollywood. in short, she's manipulatin not just her career - as evidenced by the latest "incident". but the UK also apparently. going by the massive numbers of admirer's she won overnight.

tsk, tsk. disgraceful lot, em admirers. they've been tricked. just like the case with the authentic "curry" [hur, hur] that trounced fish and chips to become the UK's national dish.

tsk, tsk. tsk.

oh yeah, because she is well-mannered, articulate, classy and never reacted to provocations. but then, she's an *actress*. remember?

really, give me that ignoramus minging chav anytime. at least she calls a spade a spade. and doesn't go around pretending to be somethin she's not. unlike "that Indian" [go on, sue me for being racist]. or any other asian for that matter.

on another note, it's a known/common fact [which i found out only recently] over ere on the wee islet amongst em ethnic chinks - especially older folks - that if one were to encounter both a poisonous snake and an Indian, the latter ought to be killed. immediately.

anyone who works closely with indian's would know exactly why. but then, em chinks are no less racist than anyone else. includin indian's, especially those from the subcontinent. and the UK - yeah, i encountered contempt whilst there. just because i look chinky, i was tarred with the same brush.

[this coming from the same bunch of shameless bastard's who'd never think twice of openly curry-favouring white's. and then backstabbing em.]

but then, the greatest irony is most of my really good mate's are indian. mostly the wee island and malaysian variety, mind. since primary school. yeah, if that's the case, how could i be makin such racist statements, eh?

i see em as individual's as opposed to their collective ethnicity, that's why. but then i've got my fair share of no-good [ethnic] indian work supervisor's [a couple of em, actually] who did the classic hypocrisy/backstabbin routine. but that doesn't mean i shouldn't befriend or trust the rest, innit?

oh going back to the subject of "that Indian" [go on, sue me for being racist], curious mind wonders if both she and the producer's were colludin with each other?

today's toons

what is it then?

if a person [ie: yers truly - ahem] who speaks a pawful of language's is called a "polyglot"; what would one name a person [ie: yers truly - ahem] who could also write in a number of computer programmin languages?

in other words, can i use the all-encompassing "polyglot" to describe myself as such?

or is cunning linguist a better description? see "cunning"?

gah!

why the hey can't i forget him, the stubborn [ok, so am i] so-and-so? in spite of all the bollocks?

i'm such a sad in-duh!-vidual. 'nuff said.

all the dosh in the blue marble...

...can't buy him lurve.

now, let's analyse him a wee bit:
1. a bit too set in his ways --> see his choice of past bird's: nurses and waitresses - gosh! how about trolley dolly's, Tom? at least they are a tad worldly-wise. and better still, a nurse [they do take good care of ye if your ill] and waitress all rolled into one. see, two for the price of one.
2. totally inflexible --> his partner should be younger than he
3. his biological clock is tickin --> wants [1]to settle by 40 [2]exactly 3 bairn's by then or shortly after

frankly, even if he were to bribe me to be his missus [haha. ha], i'd run for the hill's. oh, hang on, i'm way too *old* for him! he's not even worth my time, really.

how come? read on.

hmm.. how about this Tom? perhaps you should go for em thai's, filipina's and indonesian's. there are plenty of such young nubile type's who can't wait to fulfil your needs, requirements and wotever else. apart from waitin on you paw and hindpaw.

and apart from breeding like rabbit's. if you don't mind gettin circumcised, that is - read: [forced] conversion to islam. in the case of dirt-poor indonesians and dirt-poor darker-complexioned wee island malays. who i'm sure you'd find, erm, exotic.

:: gagging sound ::

but i must quickly add that they ain't exactly intellectual. and don't go for young wee island chinky or indian cunt's though, Tom. they'd make you a pauper before you could even say "boo!". or worse, a peopRe's LepubRik peasant from the provinces, you'll lose that shirt on your back - i'm not exaggerating, mind.

besides you both not being able to communicate. oh yes, but of course, you don't do gold-digger's. but then, i'll reckon you'd lose complete control of your senses once you chance upon such evil type's.

with all your dosh and accomplishment's, your better off alone, mate. and no, i ain't being sarcy.

no, it's your persistent low self-esteem and way-off-the-mark ideals that scares off potential bride's. unless if they are nurses and waitresses. only they - and they alone - could allow you to control and boss em around as you wish so.

oh my!

i've been approached by:
1. a company based up north in malaysia
2. an ex-candidate from my early recruitment days

to work together with em. on cross-cultural training and online human resources project respectively.

what a way to start the new year. but i'm considerin both offer's, of course.

ROFLarfin

that moggy's expression is priceless.

awww....

"This hug is the most sincere one that I have received in my life."

yes, and their complete honesty is rather refreshin. especially moggy's, if they dislike you completely, they tell you as it is.

and they don't suffer fools gladly also. sounds familiar, people?

oh and Miss Torres, thanks so much for lookin after em animal's. you have the kindest heart ever.

hallelujah!

this pair of feckless scum apparently took themselves out of the gene pool. see emphasis:

what a piece of *good* news, this.

well, were they high on drugs whilst graffiting? will their families now sue the tube for knockin em down? methinks the families should be made to compensate the tube instead for a public nuisance act. as well as for damages to the train.

oh, and i can't wait for a similar occurrence to this pair of amoebic teenager's also. see the throwing custard pie at someone bit? any wonder why senseless stabbing's are rife these days?

there are idiot's and there are idiot's

someone from India - or so the stats claimed - came to this wonderful blog via the following query:

the difference between homo sapiens and homo sapiens sapiens

ah. the *brilliance* of certain homo sapien's eh. or dare i say, homo mongoloidis - see sidebar for the letter b's "definition" idiocy?

a bummer?

i got wind of news today that the wifey

of a one-time good mate [long story as to why he no longer is] cheats on him. whilst in dubai where she's stationed.

:: snigger, snigger ::

well, what else is new with trolley dolly's? and what else is new in dubai? apart from the fact that they are overpaid waitresses with grand delusions of self. and havin fuck buddy's at each and every stopover; they're always on the lookout for wealthier partner's - they have no qualms about cheatin on their current partner's either.

in short, no sympathy for said one-time good mate. or anyone else who has a thing for sexual disease-ridden lowlife's.

which brings to mind the question as to why this lot are even allowed to exist in the first place. they don't contribute much [or none whatsoever] to the betterment of the human race [i don't mean breeding], much less academically brilliant [for instance, to em: 1+1 = 11, 1+2 = 12, 2+2 = 22... you's get the drift]. or do/are they?

to be fair, not all of em are cunt's. but most i got acquainted with are, includin an ex-neighbour whom i grew up with together. besides, conversations with em usually don't go beyond which airline they work for. or havin em reminded me [and my ex-uni course-mates] how effin lucky they really are to fly to cities all over the blue marble. on a free, mind. and which fancy hotel's they rendezvous with their fuck buddy's stay.

who gives a flying fuck? and it's really amazing how most bloke's - who are supposedly well-payin executives - behave in their "allurin" [:: finger, throat ::] presence. it's highly obvious which particular head they engage at that particular moment. ouch.

i just can't resist a gloat at said one-time good mate. he who detests bird's who don't worship the ground he walks on.

yeah, and look who's the loser ere.

snigger. snigger.

happy hogmanay

to all of you's, both long-term and new-found fan's alike of this wonderful blog.

oddly enough, of all the tune's sung during school assembly all those moon's ago, it is auld lang syne that i still remember rather clearly.