December 30, 2004

from my past

have been thinking about my ex this past week.

he's diabetic, and was already in bad shape when we got together last march. he had told me about how he had problems with his feet and blinkers, yet he continued quaffing and smoking like there's no tomorrow.

though he's made himself out to be a massive tosser by doing a runner - without even offering an explanation as to why he wanted out - i have to say that he's one of the most kindhearted persons i've ever known. such that everyone at the local thought i was lucky enough to land him.

eh wot, not the other way round?

oh, and he wasn't even keen in bonking other wee island cheapslag's who tried hard to catch his eye. what more can a bird ask for, eh? the last time i heard of him was that he returned to the UK for good back in late september. something which i didn't quite expect as he'd talked about staying put.

well, he turns 34 today. happy birthday, P and many thanks for the memories.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 07:15 AM | yer blah's (0)


snipped off the age:

A bottle of fresh country air, scooped from a Cumbrian mountain in England, has sold on eBay for 60 ($A151). A bottle of Manchester fog fetched 3.22.

not sure though if anyone bottled samples of the birmingham smog, or the air around the tyne & the wear.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 06:08 AM | yer blah's (0)


lootings are expected in the aftermath of disasters; regardless those despicable pricks, if caught, ought to be bound, gagged, and then served as shark feed in and around the waters of the great barrier reef.

just imagine, at least a year's supply of food to the shark's. and guaranteed peace of mind to 'em surfer's.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 03:29 AM | yer blah's (0)

December 29, 2004

one-line comeback's

instead of going blue in the face, the next time any mong says that:
1. i'm a cradle snatcher
2. they don't like hearing me putting on an accent - which they simply can't differentiate if it's fake or so convincingly real

i'll make sure i reply:
1. "nay, it's just that the fella's are looking for a mother figure - erm, yer *jealous*, ain't ye?"
2. "i'm not mimicking the speaker, but merely adapting to their speech pattern - you *massive* minging ignoramus, you!"

so there. i'm dead certain that the above will spare me blood from boilin'.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 02:29 PM | yer blah's (1)

so bloody wot?

the mother of some wee island minger - allegedly found dead either in the waters off or in sri lanka - took it upon herself to tell the chink-language evening rag that her belatedly daughter:
1. was a law graduate at the wee island university
2. worked in HK
3. had a belgian paramour

could someone please enlighten me what her daughter's educational background gotta do with her passing?

or that she didn't deserve to die a horrific death just because she was a graduate of the "esteemed" ::gag:: university? or that she was an effin' lawyer?

or that the blue marble will be a poorer place without her daughter's presence? crikey, where's the sickbag when you need it most?

as enscribed by the letter b @ 04:21 AM | yer blah's (0)


seems like it's gonna be a mighty busy week then. what with the cancelled cricket tests between Sri Lanka and wotsit. and rushed sales deadlines in view of the forthcoming holiday.

it has gotta be 'em sales twat's again.

so, apologies if you's don't hear from me. or worse, if my blahing's don't make any logical sense whatsoever. regardless, do keep yer eyes peeled as i may come up with something utterly brilliant.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 02:41 AM | yer blah's (0)

December 28, 2004

kind soul's

in view of the recent calamity, a handful of colleagues went around appealing for:
1. donations
2. old/used clothes
3. a jeep/landrover/somesuch so that he and his mates could deliver fresh drinking water to malaysian coastal villages

one of whom just announced to a select few who donated to the red cross/red crescent that a total of WID 2,292.20 was collected.

i can't praise enough of these folk who take the trouble and time to help those in need.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 09:32 AM | yer blah's (0)

attention whoring

this, from a workplace's producer of a footy magazine show, came afloating to my inbox:

Calling all Man Utd fans

If you would like to come on our show this thursday or have Man U crazy friends who want to be on TV please let either somemadcowwithacompletelydaftname or I know.


Producer's name deleted to protect the letter b's real identity - yeah, right

so all of you's out there who have got footy cable subscription - ie: living in and around this massive region called asia - indulge yerself in some the-letter-b-spotting.

it's quite rather easy, really.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 05:31 AM | yer blah's (0)

December 26, 2004


i was mortified to read about the appalling earthquake and subsequent tsunami that swept up in and around the region.

the quake's epicentre was very near to the wee isle. yet nothing was felt or reported of tremors on the islet. just take a peek at this image, stolen without permission off bbc news:

the wee isle is right there at the southern tip of malaysia. and its omission was very glaring.

which comes to mind, an imaginary "lost and found" advert:

a wee islet with a mere land mass of 647.5 sq km went missing on the morning of boxing day. ie: 26 december 2004. if found, please return it to its rightful place just below at the southernmost tip of malaysia. ta muchly."

as enscribed by the letter b @ 05:34 PM | yer blah's (6)

transmission disrupted

just to let you's know that there may be no update tomorrow as i'd be away watching a film. or being dragged along accompanying me mum shopping for some essentials to be sent to my aunt in england.

in other words, i skive off work.

i know you's gonna terribly miss me. hence this blah.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 05:21 PM | yer blah's (0)

December 25, 2004

picked up

sample the following sentence:
".. i like yer glasses.."

so does this qualify as a pick-up line? if it is, i'm truly flattered. if not, oh well.

mind boggling, innit?

oh if yer wondering, it was uttered by said fling nearly jonny wilkinson doppleganger.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 11:12 AM | yer blah's (3)

happy crimbo

please click 'ere before you's read the rest of the blah. ta!

had a blast at the local yesterday, spending up to an exact 12 hours with the idling chief and another mate, yazza. but not before spending the earlier bit of the day at the workplace. a complete waste of time, i tell ye.

there we were exchanging pressies and then tucking ourselves into the crimbo lunch, on a lovingly-decorated table which the staff revealed had done so specifically for moi. bless.

and then yazza and i were left to spend the rest of the day:
1. winding up inappropriately-dressed wee island birds - just so typical, i meant 'em
2. warbling at the top of our voices to the disgust of some uptight old geezer - whom we called "dried prune"
3. warbling along to the 'live' band who were utterly brilliant - not because they warbled linkin park, oasis, queen, coldplay and the cranberries'
4. hitting on chatting up with this lovely chap who would not be celebrating crimbo and the new year with his family - he's almost a jonny wilkinson lookalikey

no, i'm *not* imagining things.

anyhoo, have a fabtastic crimbo to all of you's out there, and mind how you go :D

as enscribed by the letter b @ 10:41 AM | yer blah's (0)

December 24, 2004

you know it's crimbo... crimbo special

... when your brain switches to cruising mode, refusing to do any work whatsoever. no matter how hard you deplore, beg, plead, beseech, threaten it to co-operate.

'cos crimbo is just about 12 hours away, that's why.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 03:03 AM | yer blah's (0)

December 23, 2004

first civilisation

an ancient andean civilisation that lasted 4000 years thereabouts was declared the ".. oldest known complex society in the Americas..." after confirmed radio-carbon datings:

The civilisation, which was characterised by stone pyramids, large ceremonial structures and agriculture, spread over three windy valleys in the Norte Chico region of Peru.

i expect the national geographic to explore more of it in-depth in a forthcoming issue.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 09:33 AM | yer blah's (0)

wotdya mean?!

the supremely idiotic gaffer's 23-year-old slapper-faced mistress displayed her glorious stupidity by asking a colleague loudly who Mr Spock is.

i grief for the future of humanity.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 08:54 AM | yer blah's (0)

you know it's crimbo..

.. when the daily broadsheet assembled a gallery full of crimbo piccies from around the blue marble.

lookin' at 'em puts you in a festive mood, innit?

as enscribed by the letter b @ 06:10 AM | yer blah's (2)

December 22, 2004

you know it's crimbo...

... when the head gaffer bought two crimbo logs to be shared and portioned equally for each and every minion in the department.

ain't a lunch better? i'm not asking too much. or am i?

as enscribed by the letter b @ 06:06 AM | yer blah's (0)

today's toons


as enscribed by the letter b @ 06:00 AM | yer blah's (0)

the fairweather b

for no apparent rhyme or reason, i whooped with joy upon hearing the news last evening of england beating south africa by seven wickets.

don't ask me what that means. which is an utter shame, having worked at a sport broadcaster for close to five years. apart from being the in-charge of cricket formatting itself. sadder still, i had even asked the producer about the rules of the game itself not a few times.

anyhoo, methinks it's about time to follow the team's fortunes now that they are on a roll :D

as enscribed by the letter b @ 05:18 AM | yer blah's (0)

what's up

apols for the intermittent blah's lately as it wasn't due to the madness at work. that is quite rather strange, as it is usually murder around this time of year.

the reason is mainly i have had been doing up some bracelets and necklaces, and a belt to boot. all of which i used needlecraft and knitting threads. in short, i was hit by the creative bug and i simply can't wait to go home to complete my projects.

also at this time of typing, i'm about to decorate my otherwise plain pashmina shawl with ribbon roses. the shawl's wine-red in colour, and the flowers the-lightest-of-cream and hello-kitty-pink.

may take a piccy of it once done so you's could admire my masterpiece.

show-off, me.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 04:49 AM | yer blah's (0)

crimbo pressie #x

for myself that is. as had promised meself, i bought a rather simple - read: for idiots beginners - embroidery kit from my favourite stockist during lunch yesterday. what's more, the pattern is of bluebells; one of my favouritest bloom's.

which is partly a reason for my motivation.

honestly, i must be kept away from said stockist as i seem to be on a spree whenever i go there.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 03:54 AM | yer blah's (0)

December 20, 2004

what this says..

.. about my state of mind:

a colleague told me before i went on leave last week that she'd leave a bar of choccy on my desk. tucking it away from prying eyes and paws.

and guess wot? i didn't notice it until now - which is just quarter to the hour when i'd scramble my way to the door. the choccy was hidden just beside the pc monitor but wasn't totally obscured from view.

indeed, this is a classic case of eye-brain in-coordination.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 09:47 AM | yer blah's (0)

b_mc.t's sparklin gem

the diff between a colleague and a cow-orker is the HUGE gulf of intelligence that divides 'em.

copyrighted stuff breanagh mctavish 2003

as enscribed by the letter b @ 07:36 AM | yer blah's (1)

you know it's crimbo..

...when you received the below in your inbox:


as enscribed by the letter b @ 07:34 AM | yer blah's (0)

the other day's toons

as enscribed by the letter b @ 07:33 AM | yer blah's (1)

must let it be known

on national radio, a young wee island slag dedicating the next tune with the following words:
".. to Gus: since your leaving for sweden soon, i guess we are not fated to be together.. blahyaddapuke..".

could someone kindly pass me a barfbag please?

as enscribed by the letter b @ 05:15 AM | yer blah's (0)


the holy bible on the desk of a headscarved muslim colleague.

scandalous? i think not. probably she's seeking some englightenment, or simply wanting to know more about the new testament.

if she's been entertaining ideas of converting, i hope she wouldn't be charged with apostasy. it's ridiculous isn't it that nowhere in the koran the prophet specifically stated muslims couldn't abandon their religion whatsoever.

whatever it is, the blue marble certainly needs more broad-minded types like said colleague.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 03:43 AM | yer blah's (2)

December 19, 2004

l'invasion de les frogs grenouilles!

look carefully at the headlines there. and then click on the english version thingy - what caught yer blinker?

i'm not aware that they are a self-deprecating bunch :D

as enscribed by the letter b @ 02:05 PM | yer blah's (0)

December 18, 2004


clearly this journo had a problem or two with papa nöel:

Five Irritating Habits of Santa Claus

1) Wearing boots indoors.
2) Saying "Ho Ho Ho".
3) Letting his beard go skew-whiff.
4) Barging unannounced into private parties.
5) Being overweight.

'ere for more lists of such nature.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 01:26 PM | yer blah's (0)

eye-brain incoordination

a stunning revelation of one of life's great mysteries: how come ref's come up with the daftest rulings during a footy match:

A Spanish doctor found that the eye and brain are scientifically incapable of accurate rulings.

Human physiology is such that it takes at least 0.16 seconds for an official to process the information on the minimum of five moving objects required to make a reliable judgment.

Given the distances players and the ball can move during that time, inaccurate decisions are inevitable, says Dr Francisco Belda Maruenda in the British Medical Journal.

perhaps it's about time ref's are replaced by robots could be fitted with some magic oculary aid, so that we can stop yelling and swearing at the telly once and for all.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 01:13 PM | yer blah's (1)

you know it's crimbo...

... when fairy lights on shopping malls and trees lining downtown are twinkling brightly. in crimbo colours.

if not for 'em amoeba's stopping right there in the middle of the road to gape and point, it's almost like a magic wonderland.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 11:38 AM | yer blah's (2)

the letter b revealed!

nicked off weenie's.

1. breanagh mctavish
2. the letter b
3. b_mc.t

1. see above
2. ditto
3. ditto

1. ability to speak rudimentary spanish like a native speaker - or so i was told
2. my blinkers
3. my sparkling razor-sharp wit

i lurve meself so much that i can't think of any

1. malay
2. chink
3. a melange of indian/portuguese/dutch/british

1. heights
2. flying balls
3. blood

1. coffee
2. biccy's
3. choccy's

1. t-shirt
2. shorts
3. a pair of glasses

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists(at the moment)):
1. linking park
2. placebo
3. dolores o'riordan

1. placebo's english summer rain
2. supersonic's closing time
3. republica's ready to go

.. i know i'm stuck in a time warp.

1. play rugby
2. pick up embroidery and/or candlewicking
3. take up fencing

1. honesty
2. communication
3. the fella worships the ground i walk fervently

1. was mistaken for a manc twice over
2. able to count 1 to 10 in welsh
3. was a hockey player

1. five o'clock shadow
2. fetching barnet
3. athletic-built

1. can't drive
2. can't swim
3. trying hard not to throttle be civilised towards 'em sex-mad asian birds

1. jewellery crafting
2. reading
3. winding those intellectually-inferior types and 'em sex-mad asian scum up

1. returning to the UK
2. tidying up the room
3. getting my business running!

1. irish pub owner
2. lead warbler of a rock band
3. druid high priestess

1. the UK
2. ireland
3. the midwest, U S of A

1. freyja / frøja / fröja
2. declan
3. rhianwen / rhiannon

1. see some penguins in antartica
2. stay in an igloo for a day
3. participate in a rain dance

as enscribed by the letter b @ 11:14 AM | yer blah's (1)


just found out from my visiting great-aunt - who's been domiciled in england for decades - that her ex son-in-law's a scot.

heh. not sure if he's related to or even a direct descendant of this historical figure.

talk about my great-aunt, she told me that her second hubby's fourteen years her junior. and that her present partner's at least ten years younger. she's certainly ahead of her time, my great-aunt is.

but after what she had gone through earlier in her life - an abusive womanising first husband; undertook the welfare of her nephews and niece after her sister had a mental breakdown, despite her own hardship with two young daughters - methinks my great-aunt greatly deserves a good life and a decent chap.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 10:14 AM | yer blah's (2)

December 16, 2004

current tune

i can't get enough of this fine tune.

and no, it's not because of the english bit there. honest.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 03:53 PM | yer blah's (0)


oh, went for a spot of this before the spree. i tell ye, i felt so light like a feather after the treatment.

but ta goodness, it wasn't particularly windy today.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 03:46 PM | yer blah's (0)


purloined off weenie's. i can't agree with whomever more.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 03:35 PM | yer blah's (0)

becareful, there

to all scotsmen out there who either live in asia for donkey's years; or will be posted there soon:

just because i
1. know scottish history
2. know "so much" - yer flattering me - about the highland clans
3. speak like ye
4. know what the hell haggis is

that doesn't mean i have a scottish husband or boyfriend.


but of course, no thanks to 'em dumb useless sex-mad asian bird's who give the rest of us me a bad name.

oh btw, please be reminded that my preference is english chaps. so there.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 03:18 PM | yer blah's (0)

a tad late

been out on a crimbo shopping spree with the mum today, and probably will tomorrow also. yep, i'm away from that madhouse called the workplace this couple of days.

anyhoo, wasted some hard-earned dosh on these fine books - but not before finding meself chortling loudly at the bookshop. i know, i'm a tad late in discovering them; but it's better late than never, innit?

unoddly enough, none of the above made it to the top wee island reads list. says alot about their taste in books, innit?

as enscribed by the letter b @ 03:06 PM | yer blah's (0)

harsh, that?

nicked off football365:

no, it is not funny poking fun at the disabled.


as enscribed by the letter b @ 02:22 PM | yer blah's (0)

you know it's crimbo...

... when every shopping centre within a mile radius bombards yer senses with massive banners hollering:

and then you realise there's an awful lot of folk whom you should buy crimbo pressies for.

including yerself.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 01:43 PM | yer blah's (0)

December 15, 2004

i wish!

sample the following snippet which took place in the lift at the workplace early this morning; with the VP of sales whom i tried hard to avoid, erm, eye contact but couldn't:

the letter b: yer heading home for *christmas then?
the VP who appeared taken aback: yep, returning to vancouver blah yadda.. are you heading home too?
the letter b's turn to become astonished: erm, no i'm staying put
the VP who for no reason or other chortled..

so it's confirmed then that i don't look wee islander whatsoever. hooray?

*NB: i nearly uttered crimbo

as enscribed by the letter b @ 03:54 AM | yer blah's (0)

December 14, 2004

yesterday's toons


as enscribed by the letter b @ 08:06 AM | yer blah's (0)

how come?

tradition has it that brides wear white on their wedding day. for the fact that the colour signifies purity and erm, virginity.

given that bride's these days are no longer virgins - nor pure in every sense - isn't that ironic? not to mention, hypocritical on the bride's part? isn't it time that a declaration of some sort be announced to non-virgins - wee island's especially - to wear colours other than white?

and what got me gagging was reading this bit off the rag when some wee island bride-to-be uttered: "... it's every girl's wish to look like a princess on her wedding day..".

there went my brekkie.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 07:23 AM | yer blah's (0)

today's toons


as enscribed by the letter b @ 07:15 AM | yer blah's (0)


we all need more brave fella's like this lad:

When field surgeons in Iraq told a wounded US marine they would have to cut off his wedding ring to save his damaged finger, he opted to sacrifice the finger. The ring from his childhood sweetheart meant too much to him...

... On Nov 13, L/Cpl Battle and 11 other marines came under attack as they stormed a building housing insurgent snipers. Bullets were flying everywhere, he recalled.

He was shot twice yet managed to drag himself out of the building before he collapsed. But as comrades rushed to help him, an insurgent fired a grenade at them. All the men were wounded...

teenager's like young david could teach us adults a thing or two about humility, sacrifice and love. besides restoring my faith in today's youngsters.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 06:57 AM | yer blah's (0)


the following just floated into my inbox:

Hi workplace minionic slaves,

A wotsit drill will be conducted this Friday the 17th of December. The aim of this drill is to simulate an external toxic gas attack or leak and to take the necessary actions to protect staff from such an attack/leak...

honestly, do 99.9% of 'em cow-orkers really care when and if such an incident occurs? i'm afraid not.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 06:39 AM | yer blah's (0)

random blah's

as i'd be out re-gathering my scattered braincells, here are some thoughts that crossed me mind lately:

1. it was so shockingly windy this morning that i was nearly blown off course at the traffic lights near to my block of flats - that's not unexpected given that i'm pathetically lightweight

2. the next time i hear anyone claiming that wee islanders are a conservative lot :: splutter, gag :: i will laugh out loud in the spastic's mug and proclaim that they are but a bunch of hypocrites - see #'s 3 & 5 below

3. some young shameless wee island undergraduate bint went on national radio to dedicate a tune to, and i quote: "..the cute norwegian researcher..." at her university - conservative wee islander my derierre

4. the next time i buy a made-in-japan product with instructions only in japanese, i'm gonna give the jap embassy a ring to vent my spleen. but the utter irony is they go places with their inventions - lucky sods

5. the next time i see some wee island chavette slag twirling her effin' tresses to attract the attention of the white bloke standing/sitting next to her, i'd go up to 'em and bleat: "...may you go bald in no time.."

6. weather forecast for today is strong winds are expected throughout the day, together with rain - drat

7. i've had been a tad unkind to wee islanders in general all this while. some are actually pleasantly well-mannered which got me thinking - is it because of the english legacy that made them utter "sorry" - in english of course - when you have to pass through 'em; or when they accidentally knocked me. while some even say "thank you" when i apologise for blocking their passage; or moving aside for them to get out of the seat in the bus.

to be honest, such gestures warm the cockles of my heart. and believe me, other asians are not as polite. especially 'em birds.

erm, that's about all for now. but watch this space for more blah's.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 05:00 AM | yer blah's (2)

December 10, 2004

today's toons


as enscribed by the letter b @ 09:19 AM | yer blah's (0)

the supreme idiot

why that hypocrite wanker of a gaffer is splendidly named as such:

1. he gets easily pissed with us - his minions - who don't turn up for work punctually, ie: 09:00 hrs *sharp* BUT it's ok for him to step in at 10 past 9

2. he thinks it's not ethically wrong for an ex-cow-orker to make several short personal calls using the work phone

3. it's perfectly alright for him, his 23-year-old slapper-faced mistress and her cronies to return to the workplace more than an hour at lunch BUT not the rest of us

4. he never fails to blame other departments for causing a hell lot of problems for his during managerial meeting's

5. during one of such meetings, he made a mockery on his own department when it was suggested we help them due to their heavy workload

6. and then he launched into a giggling fit right there and then

7. upon my telling him that i was awarded a second class lower for my degree, the next thing i knew was he refused to communicate with me directly when need be

8. 'cos he admitted he doesn't even have an honours to his name

9. he regularly joins in his 23-year-old slapper-faced mistress and cronies' no-brainer cringeworthy conversations; like what they were up to during their secondary school days

10. upon seeing me and another colleague inside our cubefarms the minute he steps in, he pretends we are invisible but greets his right-hand man who sits behind us

11. when he returned from leave once, instead of scheduling a meeting with me to debrief him of happenings in his absence, he happily chatted with a young very fit bird of a cow-orker intermittently

12. he's got this habit of going on and on like a broken record when confronting me of "misdemeanours" i committed; like for taking matters in my own paws without consulting him

13. and many more which will take me a lifetime to rant

it's a mighty grave injustice to humankind to have pricks like him around. really.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 08:53 AM | yer blah's (0)

you know it's crimbo...

... when you received an invite for an informal crimbo do at an acquaintance's apartment.

only to realise that *all* her other guests are 'em spastic wee islanders who had to let everyone know on the list that they were not attending it.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 06:13 AM | yer blah's (0)

burnt sheep

no, it was a laddie's sheep costume that caught fire:

...An investigation revealed that one of the group, possibly a wise man, had been messing around with a cigarette lighter and had accidentally set light to the fluffy cotton tail on one of the sheep costumes...


so the moral of the story is that some wise men were not wise after all.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 05:59 AM | yer blah's (0)

December 09, 2004

do i really care?

as some of you's cricket fan's out there would have already known, the current india vs bangladesh test series has been rocked with terrorist threats and suchlike. which resulted in a day's delay of the compo.

cue: massive flapping abouts right here at the workplace since the monday past. ok, for the broadcast network i'm in charge of.

after speaking to a colleague moments ago, the next few days' tests could be delayed due to more security issues in and around chittagong or dhaka. so expect more upheaval in the coming week or so.

really, what's a few sacrificed cricket players, eh?

as enscribed by the letter b @ 08:43 AM | yer blah's (2)

you know it's crimbo...

... when your starting to receive crimbo cards from yer mates who you've known for many many many :: ad infinitum :: moons.

so which is more mortifying?
1. your not buying crimbo cards as yet
2. your knowing 'em for many many many :: ad infinitum :: moons

as enscribed by the letter b @ 08:26 AM | yer blah's (0)

today's toons


as enscribed by the letter b @ 08:08 AM | yer blah's (0)


sample the following snippet of a conversation i had with this rather fit english chap of an arsenal fan last evening at the local:

fit chap: you sound so english-english, where do you get that accent from?
the letter b: erm, uhm..

i really have no idea there, luv. to think that moi, the letter b is pretty quick with comeback one-liner's. and oh, this is the same blokey who two different persons in the party asked if i was his wifey.

yeah, i can only fantasise.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 06:39 AM | yer blah's (2)

December 08, 2004

lost plot

just take a peek at these piccies. gobsmacked? revolted?

methinks madame tussaud's have completely lost their marbles.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 08:28 AM | yer blah's (4)

today's toons


as enscribed by the letter b @ 07:23 AM | yer blah's (2)


1. a long-lost twin from lancashire. no, not that one, but this one :D
2. this delightfully cerebral aussie blogger
3. one of 'em rare insightful wee island bloggers

go say hello, folks.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 06:27 AM | yer blah's (0)

you know it's crimbo...

...when the bairn next door attempted "silent night" on its piano.

quite close to murdering the tune rather, the bairn's attempt.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 06:09 AM | yer blah's (0)

December 07, 2004

spelling bee

oooh what have i stumbled upon:

BBC's Hard Spell

You scored 25 out of a possible 25
Genius. We hope you don't get indigestion from all the dictionaries you've eaten.

and the irony is i can't even spell some simplest words correctly.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 10:33 AM | yer blah's (8)


is this surprising? i think not.

How good a British citizen are you?

Congratulations. You are a model citizen who will doubtless prove a fine asset to the community. In fact, one could scarcely believe that you weren't born here, old chap.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 10:10 AM | yer blah's (0)

today's toons


as enscribed by the letter b @ 08:02 AM | yer blah's (2)

you know it's crimbo...

.. when you spotted a massive crimbo santa "hat" perching on the top of the bus.

it may cause some utter astonishment to first-time visitors to the tropics. well, after all weird things do happen on the wee isle.


as enscribed by the letter b @ 01:55 AM | yer blah's (6)

yesterday's toons


as enscribed by the letter b @ 01:49 AM | yer blah's (0)

kewl to be bi

is it the process of jurassification i'm undergoing that i find the rise of bisexualism utterly disconcerting?

one's choice to be gay or lesbian is not for me to criticise. or yelling "hell, damnation and such" at them. who am i to do so anyhoo? most are born-again gays as it's kewl to become one. just because their peers are or that they were converted. not because of some genetic shortcircuitry that caused one to become queer growing up.

after reading some blogs and certain websites, i reached the conclusion that bisexuality is not due to one's confused orientation. rather, like homosexuality, it's their abnormally high sex drive. although i can't help it but think that such folk are mentally unstable hiding behind the curiosity excuse.

the thought of both born-again gays and heterosexual twats engaging in high-risk sexual behaviour is scary enough. 'em bisexuals are even less discriminating in their choice of bonking partners.

so who should aids campaigners target? and it's mighty strange, not to mention appalling, that nothing's been said about them.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 01:12 AM | yer blah's (0)

December 06, 2004

today's toons


as enscribed by the letter b @ 08:49 AM | yer blah's (0)

no title, this

[start of whinge]

the minute i parked myself inside the cubefarm this morning, a sudden wave of rigor mortis sneaked up on moi unawares. but not before crippling my logical thought processing unit.

i'm on auto-pilot mode as we speak.

this is not good. after all the supremely idiotic gaffer's on leave from work today and tomorrow, so i should be chuffed to bits. i could do my business stuff openly without giving a fuck if anyone's looking.

oh well.

[end whinge]

as enscribed by the letter b @ 08:35 AM | yer blah's (2)

you know it's crimbo...

... when you suddenly realised you ought to go pressie-hunting.

but you can't be arsed until the evening of christmas eve. when hundreds of others will throng the shopping mall for some last-minute frenetic shopping.

and that's when the fun begins.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 08:27 AM | yer blah's (0)

December 05, 2004

'em chav couple

had a wee chortle upon reading this bit about, erm, shrek:

.. He is no oil painting, this burly, chip-scoffing son of an unemployed Merseyside labourer. If you saw him coming down the street in the tough, Croxteth neighbourhood of Liverpool where he grew up, you'd want to do a double check on your hub cabs. Those in the football know say the key to his game is his extraordinarily wide field of peripheral vision, which comes as a surprise when you realise that Wayne doesn't seem to have any eyes...


in spite of his indiscretions, that lassie's staying put 'cos of the dosh she could lay her paws on. and the doors that'd open to her if she decides to become a star of some sort.

regardless, she doesn't seem bright either. more over 'ere.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 09:28 AM | yer blah's (1)

December 03, 2004


ta to a good mate who emailed me this. enjoy.

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate fa! ster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

Of course, the corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."


as enscribed by the letter b @ 08:56 AM | yer blah's (0)

you know it's crimbo...

... when colourful brochures of suggested crimbo pressies are inserted together with your monthly credit card statement in the post.

that's really sinful. tempting us to spend more.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 08:33 AM | yer blah's (0)

today's toons


as enscribed by the letter b @ 08:11 AM | yer blah's (0)

history lessons

this subject has been engaging me since.. whenever. to be honest, if i were to not do anything except feeding my brain only, i'd indulge meself more on:
1. research on said subject
2. reseach on wwII - the battle of britain, normandy, the battle of monte cassino, the death railway, the holocaust
3. linguistics
4. photography - b&w, infrared
5. the northern ireland peace process
6. research on the 6-day and yom kippur wars
7. and a shedload more

i know, there ain't such a thing as the ideal, innit?

as enscribed by the letter b @ 05:40 AM | yer blah's (0)

clock watchin'

this time it's the canuck association's monthly tank up at the local's sister pub later this evening. which yours truly will be convening.


as enscribed by the letter b @ 05:31 AM | yer blah's (0)

yesterday's toons


as enscribed by the letter b @ 05:25 AM | yer blah's (0)

December 02, 2004

in full swing

aussie Simon's taken upon himself to host this compo this year. good luck, matey. but imagine my horror upon reading someone's nomination for some part-time spastic underaged vocab-challenged whore of a total horizontally-challenged minger.

but of course, to each its own.

be prepared though, the bluemarble domination of subzero-IQ specimens is nigh.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 08:54 AM | yer blah's (5)

you know it's crimbo...

...when the local emails you the following:

3 course Christmas set lunch @ only $35 nett (Mon 4th to Fri 24th Dec) Bookings recommended
Plus Christmas Day Lunch Extravaganza! A special 5 course set lunch @ only $60 nett. Book now!

a perfect excuse to spend the whole day there quaffing a pint or three.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 08:00 AM | yer blah's (0)

in black and white

i had promised myself that once i have loadsa time and dosh in paws, i'd indulge myself in b&w photography. and given the pathetic lack of suitable subjects over here on the wee isle, it means going on trips abroad to do so.

so when i chanced upon this in the daily rag the other day, and then surfing the website moments ago; i'm bowled over. must drop by the gallery to drool over the piccies.

apart from the, erm, dishy-lookin' owner.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 07:50 AM | yer blah's (4)

sheep : lifeforms

some comparative stats:
new zealand
39 million : 4.06 million
ie: <10 sheep per lifeform

103 million : 20.23 million
ie: 5 sheep per lifeform

but alas, there ain't anything about wales.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 07:43 AM | yer blah's (0)

December 01, 2004

wonky server

if you see some double or nonsensical entries under TEXTED BLAH'S - WOOOOT!! - on the column to your left - do not adjust yer monitor. nor rub yer blinkers.

it is due to a severely wobbly server at phlogger's. hopefully they sort the problems out soon, as i can't wait to show off the piccies that i had taken moons ago.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 01:42 PM | yer blah's (0)

you know it's crimbo...

.. when some cow-orker's busied themselves decorating a steel column jutting out from some cubefarm with crimbo tinsels, trimmings and wotnot's. topped with a massive star in matte silver.

indeed, they have had too much time on their paws. innit.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 01:23 PM | yer blah's (3)

fever pitch

99.9% of the islet is gripped by the grand finals of the dodgy wee island idol as we speak.

as i've had watched an earlier episode on my way home in the bus, i must say that the two finalists could carry a tune. and when i read off somewhere that the pair are warblers in their own bands, that may explain why and how they got this far.

as enscribed by the letter b @ 01:07 PM | yer blah's (3)

yesterday's toons


as enscribed by the letter b @ 06:17 AM | yer blah's (0)