July 07, 2004

desperate acts

found it rather difficult to pull a bloke - much less catching his eye - lassies? here are some "pointers" generously tipped by this book:

STEP 3: DRESS TO IMPRESS

IF you want to find a man, you need to catch his eye.

And what better way to do it than by making sure you look - and feel - your best?

Be careful not to appear too tarty - you don't want to give out the wrong message.

Try these sexy but chic items instead...

Knee high boots.

Low cut tops which show just a hint (but not too much) cleavage.

Mid-length skirt.

Nice underwear - just in case!

heh. don't ever believe any of the above bollocks except the, erm, NAH. take it from me, dahlin's, anything you wear will get the fella's attention.

STEP 6: BODY LANGUAGE

GEARING yourself up to talk to someone can be difficult, especially if he's tall, dark and handsome.

Get yourself in the mood with some body language first - it's bound to catch his eye and get your hormones racing.

Here's a few starters...

Point your body in his direction so that you are facing him.

Smile and laugh lots.

Sit or stand up straight.

Cross your legs when sitting down.

oh, if the blokes still don't notice you, and if you are really desperate; do what wee island/asian female lowest common denominators do: move to the beat of the music on the PA system. or whisper something totally nonsensical into yer girlmates' ears and then giggle like some prepubescents.

not. such behaviour makes you real cheap and desperate. not to mention, disgusting and annoying to other folk around you. also, those blokes who think your action's are so cute/seductive ::barf!!:: need to get their noggins examined.

anyways, the breanagh mc.t's © tried-&-tested foolproof methods:
- see what the fella wears and then make some complimentary remarks
- if the fella's watching the telly, turn to look at the telly for a nanosecond, turn back to look at said chap and then utter: "eh wot, yer watching the tennis/golf/cricket/bowling/synchronised swimming?" with the spock expression. never ever bleat "you have such poor tastes", or you'll suffer the consequences
- if the fella's watching the telly, turn to look at the telly for a nanosecond, turn back to look at said chap and then exclaim: "they are really marvellous aren't they? to think they were nil to 51 earlier.." with a really geniunely excited expression
- discreetly eavesdrop on the conversation between the fella and his mates. and then seize the opportunity when there's a momentary silence, turn to him curiously, "you must be english ain't ye? from the north innit?"

if all else fails, fret not. it's not everyday you get lucky. but the bestest bit of course is to adopt a calm posture and nonchalant expression. and most importantly, be yourself.

you know you get him when the chap throws himself on you. not literally.

as enscribed by the letter b @ July 7, 2004 09:19 AM
yer six pences' worth s'il vous plaît:









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