ME BLOG GUARDIAN, THAT
if i do get me arse round to loch ness, i'll pitch up a tent on the shores, and then lay in wait for nessie to show up.
and when it does, i'll get a t-shirt done with the words:
.. i came, i saw and i went utterly gobsmacked.. nessie - a canny creature, that
SWING LOW, SWEET CHARIOT...
...'nuff said.
COME AGAIN?
HOW NOT TO BEAT AROUND THE BUSH [NOT THAT ONE]
so that everyone around the blue marble will live happily and harmoniously. ever after.
SOME SPARKLIN' GEMS BY A CERTAIN B. McTAVISH - COPYRIGHTED
"..housework not only dulls your senses, it kills off whatever's left of your braincell's as well. especially the good ones.."
"..war is but an excuse for (a) a massive land grab (b) an ego trip. so why should i die for my islet country to boost some twattin cunt's standing?"
"..the diff between a colleague and a cow-orker is the HUGE gulf of *intelligence* that divides em.."
THE UNIVERSAL TRANSLATOR
for
clueless brazilian's - or anyone else with expired visa's - who may possibly be confronted by gun-wieldin plain-clothes copper's. ack!
NEWSFLASH - NEW STILL-EVOLVING HUMAN SPECIES FOUND
the recently found homonid species that excites many a boffin has been traced to the wee islet.
classified as Homo Mongoloidis, they ain't exactly a paleoanthropological find. rather, a still-evolvin sub-species that is a livin example of the bluemarble-wide motor-neuron regression malady that inflicts Homo Sapien's.
and Homo Sapien's only. apparently.
contrary to widely-held popular belief, the Mongoloidis bit refers to 'Mong' as opposed to 'Mongoloid'. though their slight resemblance to the latter is but the merest of coincidence.
TRIVIA
the
wee isle can be found in a wee corner of south-east asia, perching just above the equator.
wee island standard time(WIST) is GMT +08:00, EST +12:00, PST +15:00
and yes, 'em wee islanders enjoy perpetual sunshine all-year round, with the occasional tropical rains thrown in. for good measure.
and if you wonder how come some of them - or this blog - seemed remotely british,
here's why..
MOI?
38-yr-old once-upon tech geek/online poet-haikuist still basking in her "glorious" not-too-distant past as an amateur road hockey left-winger.
with 4 goals, 5 assists, and 6 goals *against* to her name. a massive footy, hockey & rugby nut - and soon enough, cricket - with a thing for english chappies. and english chappies only.
nursing a burning ambition to own a wee footy club. or an irish pub. so that she can get trolleyed on quaff her favourite guinness. and perhaps warble with a resident indie rock band to be known as...
THE BEANBAG'S
can't decide still if she should play the keyboard or the bass. or become the centre of attention - ie: the lead warbler.
THE McTAVISH TARTAN
aye, ahm from the heelands. not.
BITS 'ERE AND THERE
STIMULANTS
READS- SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY
READS- MILITARY & HISTORY
READS- BUSINESS & POLITICS
NEWSFEED
GUARANTEED MAKIN' GROWN MEN CRY
PICCIE GALLERIES
INTELLIGENT LIFEFORM'S
MU.NU.VIENNES
PAST MOANS
ie: whingein's, ramblin's and twaddlin's archived for posterity
TRIBES
FINDING TIME TO CRAM (OUCH!) THE FOLLOWING:
...AND COUNTING...
TA MUCHLY TO..
ACHTUNG!!
this blog expresses the thoughts, opinions and whingings of one Breanagh McTavish, a full-time blogger/journaler. like you. so what i'm trying to say is this journal is
copyrighted stuff and you ain't gonna nick any bit unless you ask me nicely. would be grateful if you acknowledge me on yer blog if you happen to stumble upon a link over here.
also, as a guest to this blog, i would much appreciate it that you hold yer tongue if you find any postings, comments or somesuch offensive to yer sensibilities. even if you don't find part or whole of this blog *funny*, may i remind ye that not everyone on this side of the cosmoverse shares yer peculiar sense of humour. remember, there are all sorts of lifeform's inhabiting this wee planet. and yer not the only one who owns the english language. nor the only one who comprehends the language well.
in other words, please mind yer manners and leave soonest possible. surely you don't wish to be branded as "tosser"/"wanker"/"sad git" whichever deemed fit?
oh, if you by any chance don't know what "tosser", or "wanker", or "sad git" means, i would be more than glad to explain. rather than me finding out you acting clever - or horror of horrors, trying to be funny-ha-ha which you actually ain't - by asking daft questions elsewhere like, "what the hell is that?". geddit? alternatively, i recommend you the
Oxford or
Collins English Dictionary.
like i said, you ain't the only specimen owning the english language. and by the way, i do speak EIGHT languages. and was a teacher of English as
First Language. are you?
LOOKIN' FOR SOMETHIN'?
my innermost sanctum
