my innermost sanctum

larf's

as sent by a good mate. enjoy!

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Students were assigned to read two books, the "Titanic" and Clinton's, "My Life." One smart-ass fellow turned in the following book report, with the proposition that the stories were practically identical. His cool professor gave him an A+ for his report:

Titanic:..... $29.99
Clinton:..... $29.99

Titanic:.....Over 3 hours to read
Clinton:....Over 3 hours to read

Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton:..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton:..... Bill is a bulls*^t artist.

Titanic:..... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton:... Ditto for Bill.

Titanic:.... During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton:... Ditto for Monica.

Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton:..... Let's not go there.

Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton:..... Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton:..... Clinton doesn't remember jack.

Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of sea men.
Clinton:..... Monica...! oh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton:..... Bill goes home to Hilary (basically the same thing).