my innermost sanctum

some legendary yarn

a rehashed blah that was posted on the old blogspot many many many :: ad infinitum :: moons ago. and yes, the following yarn is copyrighted to a certain Breanagh McTavish [the yarn teller with a vividly overactive imagination] © 1992, 1993, 2005.

nevertheless, enjoy.

A PROFILE ON ONE OF THE "GREATEST" NATIVE AMERICANS

Name: Rainbow Dances with Buffaloes

Post: Chief of all Chiefs of the...

Race: ...Mohawk(s)

Locality: Northeast of North America, or the Plains, where the most number of bison roam

Sex: Female, hence the name "Rainbow"
When Rainbow was born, many many many .. ad infinitum.. moons ago, as the legend goes, she immediately grabbed her father's, the Great Chief *Eagle the Baldie Skips with Buffaloes, headgear and let out a bloodcurdling war cry.

Which could be heard throughout the Buffalo tribe. And beyond.

The Great Chief Eagle the Baldie Skips with Buffaloes could not believe the child he was carrying was a girl. He wanted a boy so badly, that he brought up and taught Little Rainbow, the skills of a typical Brave, and reluctantly, groomed her to be his successor.

You see, Little Rainbow's mother, the beautiful Wind In Her Hair Runs With Cheetahs, was a tough-minded woman who believed in "Stop At Two - Boy or Girl"**. She has another daughter by the name of Sunshine, the younger sister of Rainbow. Sunshine is anything but sunshine; Gloomy should be her name.

Age: Top secret
Some believe she is as old as the Earth, but Rainbow is eternally youthful, not a wrinkle on her face. Must be the purified Lake water that Rainbow only consumes. And swears by.

Marital status: Unknown
It is believed that she was betrothed once to a Mohawk Brave. But nobody knows what happened to her fiance.

Based on eyewitnesses' accounts, Rainbow, in a fit of one of her several angers, gave a blow on his head with a boulder. It is rumoured she dislikes 'bald' males. Mohawk males are partly bald.

Greatest Fear: The Medicine Man
The Medicine Man is a doctor, dentist, acupunturist, masseuse and rainmaker roll into one.

When Rainbow was a teenager, she had a very bad toothache. As the Medicine Man had no choice but to extract the tooth, in the process, half of the tooth came out. Poor Rainbow was left with a throbbing headache. And a badly mangled tooth.

Till this day, Rainbow fears the Medicine Man.

Greatest Ambitions:
1) To be the Chief of all Indian tribes in the land which the White Man called "America".
Psst, it is rumoured Rainbow has a fancy for one White Man, one called Pierre Journeaux.

2) To exterminate the Apaches who are believed to be responsible for Chief Eagle the Baldie's death.
He, the Chief, died of lung cancer, the result of excessive smoking of aromatic "grass" which could only be found in the Apaches' domain.

Talents/Abilities:
1) Scalping the enemy while riding on horseback
With a tomahawk of course.

2) Quilt sewing
Oh yes, Rainbow is proficient in needlework.

3) Languages: Mohawk, Sioux, French and a smattering of English
Madam Wind In Her Hair Runs with Cheetahs is part Sioux. The Mohawks have contacts with the French, due to trade in fur and other miscellaneous.

And partly also, Monsieur Pierre Journeaux is Rainbow's tutor. Another White Man called John Clees (from whom, the term "Yankee" came about) is interested to trade with the Mohawks. Hence, Rainbow learns some English from Mr Clees.

4) Trout fishing
Rainbow uses her bare hands to catch fish.

5) Communicating with the Bison
Through ESP, that is.

Admires:
1) Her father the Chief of course
1) Joan of Arc, or Jeanne d'Arc in French
She was so enthralled with Monsieur Journeaux's account of Joan of Arc's life, that Rainbow adopted a White Man name called...

Aliases:
1) Jeanne d'Bison in French
2) Joan Bison in English
Till this day, Mohawks and other Plains Indians have French names. This is due to their exclulsive contacts with the French back in the 18th century.

* Chief Eagle the Baldie was believed to be wearing a toupee, but he was as brave as the eagle.

** "Stop at Two - Boy or Girl" was a bollocky population control campaign terror "forced" upon wee islanders during the mid 60's right up till the late 70's. and then a few moons ago 'em Legitimate Gangsters were complaining, nay, whingeing about the dwindling number's of younglings these days rising greying population.

that's one of the reasons why they are dishing out permanent residency status indiscriminately to foreigners of either chink or indian descent. and the fact that there ain't enough 18-year-old male conscripts for the armed forces scares them frightfully.

as enscribed by the letter b @ March 31, 2005 04:14 AM